


Secret - Alternate Ending, The

by westwingfanfictioncentral_archivist



Category: The West Wing
Genre: Alternate Universe, F/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-03-01
Updated: 2009-03-01
Packaged: 2019-05-15 05:19:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 24
Words: 31,433
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14784279
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/westwingfanfictioncentral_archivist/pseuds/westwingfanfictioncentral_archivist
Summary: This is an alternate ending to my story The Secret. If you haven't read through chapter 16 of that story, this one won't make ANY sense whatsoever.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> A copy of this work was once archived at National Library, a part of the [ West Wing Fanfiction Central](https://fanlore.org/wiki/West_Wing_Fanfiction_Central), a West Wing fanfiction archive. More information about the Open Doors approved archive move can be found in the [announcement post](http://archiveofourown.org/admin_posts/8325).

Donna hadn’t realized that she had fallen asleep until a soft hand was shaking her shoulder. She lifted her head up off where it lay on Josh’s hand on the bed and took a few moments to focus her eyes. Her attention was immediately drawn to her husband sleeping in the hospital bed, but it was obvious that it wasn’t him that had awakened her. Her heart fell at that, since he had only woken up once when she was around since his surgery and he was relatively incoherent. He smiled at her and was immediately asleep again.

“Donna?” came a gentle voice.

Donna snapped her head and saw the First Lady.

“Dr. Bartlet!” she said jumping to her feet, but the First Lady eased Donna back into her chair.

“Donna, honey, I think under the circumstances, we can forego with all the pomp and circumstance, don’t you?” Abbey asked gently.

“I’m sorry, ma’am. I must look a mess.” Donna apologized redoing her ponytail and wiping the sleep from her eyes.

“Donna, I can’t imagine I look any better.” the First Lady commiserated, easing herself down into the other chair in the room. She picked up Josh’s chart off the bed and read through it. “You and I are in an interesting club tonight, aren’t we?”

“I’m sorry, ma’am?” Donna asked in confusion.

“Our husbands were the only ones that got hurt tonight.”

“OUR husbands, ma’am?”

Abbey held out her hand to Donna. When Donna opened up her hand, Abbey dropped Josh’s wedding band and chain into it. Donna’s eyes widened in surprised. “I thought he lost it.” she breathed.

“They took it off him in the ER.” Abbey explained. “It must have fallen on the floor because one of the nurses found it and gave it to me to return. And you’re his medical power of attorney.”

“Dr. Bartlet, I don’t know what --” Donna back shaking her head. What was she going to say? She wasn’t ready for an accidental disclosure. She and Josh hadn’t really talked about how they were going to tell everyone, but they were at least agreed on the fact that they were waiting until she had finished school. She was supposed to start classes again next week, but there was no way now she was going to school this semester.

“You’re not in trouble by me, Donna.” Abbey smiled. “I doubt you’d be in trouble from Jed either, if he knew. Why don’t you start from the beginning?”

Donna took a deep breath, and seeing that there was no use denying it, finally got it off her chest. “We got drunk and married on election night.” she confessed and Abbey’s eyes widened.

“You’ve been married all this time?”

“Yes.”

Abbey threw back her head and shouted with laughter. Even the raucous laughter of the First Lady couldn’t rouse Donna’s sleeping husband. “Oh, I can’t believe it! No one knew!”

“I think CJ kind of does.” Donna admitted sheepishly. “We told her about it the next day and she told us to get it annulled. But, we just couldn’t bring ourselves to do it. I was going back to school, and we figured once I graduated, I’d be over qualified for my job and leaving the White House anyway, at least my position with Josh that we thought maybe we could just hold out until then.”

“Do you live together?”

“Of course.”

“And human resources doesn’t catch this?”

“I have a P.O. box.”

“What about your taxes?”

“We didn’t lie. Apparently, no one in the IRS knows the name of Josh’s assistant.”

“Amazing.” Abbey breathed. “But, what are you going to do now? Josh has a long road ahead of him. It’ll be at least three months before he can return to work.”

“Well, I am his assistant.” Donna shrugged. “I guess I’ll just figure it out. Dr. Bartlet, it was never our intent to mislead anyone or lie. We were just trying to figure out the best way to go about it. I’m so sorry.”

“Donna, believe it or not, we’ve all got our secrets and I know precisely what you’re talking about. Sometimes it’s just never the right time to say something.” Abbey said dryly. Donna was much to tired to bother to think about the kind of secrets the President and First Lady might harbor, or repercussions of those secrets. “Let me know when you’re going to come clean, Donna, I’ll be there to back you up.”

“That means a lot, Dr. Bartlet.” Donna smiled.

“I don’t suppose I could convince you to go home and get some rest.”

“No, ma’am.”

“When is Josh’s mother getting here?”

“She’s on her way.” Donna said. “Leo’s taking care of getting her here. I think the highways into the city are blocked.”

“Well, Leo’s got some pull, so I’m sure she’ll be here soon.” Abbey said rising out of her chair. “And if you have any questions along the way about Josh’s recovery, please don’t hesitate to come to me.”

“Thank you, ma’am. I appreciate it. I’m sure we’ll have a ton of questions after we meet with all the physical therapists.”

Abbey gave Donna a maternal kiss on the forehead before disappearing from the room. Donna took Josh’s hand in both of hers, squeezed and then kissed it. She was surprised when she heard a strained whisper from the bed.

“She gone?”

Donna popped up and moved close to him, so he didn’t have to work so hard to be heard. “Don’t talk.” she immediately ordered softly and kissed him on the forehead. “You have a collapsed lung and you were intubated for 14 hours.”

“Tired.”

“I would imagine.”

“We’re so dead.” he said. Donna could tell that it was taking a great effort for him to speak.

“Joshua, you’re not supposed to talk.” she admonished again. She kissed him gently on the lips to take the sting out of her words.

“Ten bucks says she tells the President.”

“A new car says you can’t be quiet for ten minutes.” Donna countered.

“I was scared.” he said quietly.

“I know you were.” she replied, tears forming in her eyes.

“I love you so much.”

“I love you, too.” she ran her fingers through his hair, as her silent tears fell. “Now, stop talking for a little while. I’ll stay right here with you and think about my new car.”

She could see the beginnings of a smile as his eyes drifted back shut. She rubbed her hand gently up and down his arm and watched him sleep, listening to the beautiful rhythm of his breathing.

“Oh Joshua,” she said to the silent room. “What have we done?”

TBC


	2. Secret - Alternate Ending, The

“Donna?”

“Yeah, baby?”

“You know how much I love you, right?” Josh asked from where he was sitting up in his hospital bed.

“Of course.” Donna smiled, turning the page of the document she was editing from the White House.

“Then you won’t be offended when I ask you what the hell you’re doing here?”

“What do you mean?” she frowned looking up at him.

“It’s 6:30 at night, you’ve been here every night since I got here.”

“I’m your wife.”

“And I thank God for that every day, but what the hell are you doing here so much?”

“I don’t understand.”

“I mean, I’m doing good. Shouldn’t you be going to class?” Josh asked.

“Class!?” Donne replied horrified. “Josh, how could you possibly think I’d be taking classes this semester? You’re recovering from a gunshot wound for crying out loud. You expect me to go to work all day and then class at night and leave you by yourself?”

“Yes.” he said.

“Absolutely not.”

“Donna! You had three semesters left.”

“I still have three semesters left. The registration office is just pre-registering me for everything I signed up for this semester for next semester instead. I’m still on track, Josh.”

“You weren’t even going to discuss this with me?”

“Josh, you were unconscious the week classes started.” Donna reminded. “No. I wasn’t looking to discuss that with you.”

“Donna, this is important to you. I won’t be another guy you drop out of school for. I won’t be someone else that lets you derail your life and the things you want to take care of him.”

Donna sat open mouthed and stunned for a moment. When she recovered, she moved to the bed and sat next to him. She picked up his hand and felt the tears well up in her eyes.

“Oh, Josh, that’s not what this is.” she said softly. He dropped his gaze to their linked hands and she gently ran her thumb across his hand. “HE asked me to drop out and put my life on hold to support him. That’s not what I’m doing here. I am registered for next semester.”

“It’s the same thing.” he grumbled.

“It’s not, Josh.” she asserted. “You almost died. You were so close. I thought everything was over.” When he didn’t say anything, she continued. “I promise you, I’m registered for next semester. School is important to me, but it’s not as important as you are. I’ll take this semester off, help you get back to work and out of my hair, and be back in school by January.”

“Promise?” He whispered looking back up at her.

“Cross my heart.” she said smiled. She was about to lean in and kiss him when they heard someone clear their throat from the doorway. “Toby!” Donna popped off the bed and Toby walked in.

“Sorry to interrupt.” He said. “But I need to talk to Josh.”

“You’re breaking the rules.” Donna frowned.

“Call the feds.” Toby shot back. “Oh wait, I AM the feds.” Josh smirked but quickly let it fall when he saw his wife’s glare. Donna crossed her arms and arched an eyebrow. “It’s important.”

“How important?” she asked. “National security important?”

“No.”

“Everything was fine when I left.”

“It’s still important.” he said.

“He’s had a rough day. He’s not supposed to get his blood pressure up.”

“It’s not like that.”

“Okay.” Josh said tersely. “I’m right here, and I’m not six.”

“Josh...” Donna began.

“Donna, I’m the Deputy Chief of Staff, and the rules are only going to be able to go so far, realistically speaking.”

Toby watched as Josh and Donna seemed to stare each other down. Donna was formidable at the moment in her quest to make sure nothing upset him, but Josh also had a point. If he wasn’t resigning his job, he was going to get visits from the White House. It was the nature of the beast. And Josh was craving contact. He really needed to feel useful. Donna and his mother brought him newspapers, he watched CNN, but Donna limited his contact with the White House on work related matters. He loved her for trying, but it really wasn’t going to be feasible if he was going to stay on at the White House.

“How much time do you need?” Donna asked turning to Toby and giving in.

“How the hell do I know?” Toby shrugged. “Half an hour?”

“I’ll be down in the waiting room.” She pulled her tote bag from the chair, but Josh stopped her before she made it to the door.

“Why don’t you take more than that, Donna, and go home for a little while?”

“I think you know better than that, Joshua.”

“And yet, I’m begging you anyway.”

Donna looked at him for another long moment. “I’ll be down the hall.” she said, then turned out of the room.

Josh rolled his eyes, groaned, and fell dramatically back against his pillow.

“Cut her some slack.” Toby said sitting down. “She’s scared.”

“Yeah, well, so am I, but it’s for her.” Josh said. “She stays here all night and gives herself just enough time in the morning to get home, get changed, get to the White House, come here on lunch, go back to the White House, and is here by four. Then the insane cycle repeats itself the next day.”

“You didn’t see her face, Josh.” Toby said quietly. “I was the one that finally told her you were shot. She came in the room and her eyes were moving around the room, and I could see that she knew you weren’t there. She kind of went into some kind of shock or something. She asked about the President, and when CJ told her that the President was going to be okay, she started to babble. Then, I realized she was avoiding the obvious question of where you were. So, I told her you’d been hit. In my life, Josh, I will never forget that moment. She said ‘hit with what?’ She couldn’t comprehend it. The fact that something horrible had happened to you was absolutely unfathomable to her. She didn’t talk to anyone for hours. She just sat there until Abbey brought her up to the OR. I put that together with seeing a rather choice piece of jewelry around your neck outside the Newseum, and came to an interesting conclusion.”

Josh simply raised his eyebrows at Toby. He wasn’t surprised to hear about Donna’s reaction. She saw the good in the world before she saw that bad. It was one of the things he loved most about her. Despite the obvious danger of traveling with the President, it would never occur to her that something horrible would happen to the people who travel with him. Josh also wasn’t going to confirm Toby’s suspicions. He wasn’t going to lie if he was asked directly, but if Toby were under a different impression he wasn’t going to lead Toby in the direction of truth either.

“Josh, am I wrong in my conclusion that you and Donna are married?”

“No.”

“For how long?”

“Since Election Night. We got drunk and obviously didn’t think it through. It was funny at the time. We went to CJ the next morning, she told us to get it annulled. We changed our minds. CJ doesn’t know we didn’t annul it.”

“It’s your business, Josh.” Toby said. “You obviously have your reasons, and I’ll respect them, but aren’t you going to say anything?”

“Yes. But it never seems like the right time. Donna’s got three semesters left of school and then she’s leaving her job. We work well together and there’s no one I trust more than her to sit out there. Eventually, I’m going to have to find someone new, but until then, this is working. Especially now.”

“It’s warped and obviously your idea.” Toby said rising out of his chair. “Does anyone else know?”

“Abbey said something to Donna after my surgery. I don’t know if she told the President or not. He hasn’t said anything to either one of us.”

“Abbey knowing could work in your favor.”

Josh merely shrugged in response. The longer they waited, the more pissed Leo was going to be. But Josh wasn’t going to be at work for months. Saying anything now didn’t make sense anyway.

“You’re very lucky to have her at a time like this.”

“You have no idea.”

“I did once, Josh. Don’t screw it up.”

TBC


	3. Secret - Alternate Ending, The

“Ainsley?” Donna asked poking her head into the basement office. “Are you Ainsley?”

Ainsley popped her head up and smiled at the newcomer. She recognized her visitor as someone who worked upstairs....where there was light.

“Yes.”

“I’m Donna Moss.” Donna smiled extending her hand to Ainsley who shook it. “I’m Josh Lyman’s assistant.”

“Oh, it’s nice to meet you.” Ainsley smiled. “Your boss hates me.”

“Why do you think that?” Donna asked, cocking her head to the side.

“My position on gun control.” Ainsley said. “I’m a conservative Republican.”

“Well, I think he hates your political ideals, but that doesn’t mean he hates you.” Donna said. “Congressman Skinner is a conservative Republican and he’s one of Josh’s closest friends. Josh doesn’t hate anybody.”

“It doesn’t look that way on t.v.” Ainsley chuckled.

“Okay, well, yeah. He probably does hate Mary Marsh.” Donna agreed.

“Is there anything I can do for you, Donna?” Ainsley asked sitting back down.

“No.” Donna said. “I just wanted to introduce myself. Josh is here today, so I’m here, and I’m just taking a brake between the President’s attempts at this week’s radio address.”

“Leaf peeping, I heard.” Ainsley said.

“The senior staff gets a little...passionate in their opinions.” Donna said. “So, I just wanted to make sure you adjusting okay.”

“It’s rocky.” Ainsley admitted. “But, I think it might be okay.”

“Has anyone give you a tour yet?”

“Leo showed me from the front door to my office.”

“Oh, well, come with me and I’ll show you the mess and wherever else you need to see.”

“Really?” Ainsley smiled. “That’s so nice of you.”

“Sure. Josh and Sam have been arguing over insurance all morning, CJ and Toby are, I don’t even know what, and the President’s been tied up for a while.”

“Thanks.” Ainsley said as they walked out of her office and up the stairs. “Wait. White House hazing is infamous. You’re not going to push me into the Situation Room and run away are you?”

“But for the armed Marines at the door.” Donna laughed. “I can show you where it is though.”

“They’ll let us?”

“They won’t let us in, but I can take you as far as we’re allowed. It’s no big secret where it is.”

“Have you ever been in there?”

“No. Josh has though. He’s been in there for security briefings and things like that. He’s Deputy COS, so he’s privy to a little bit more than the others. He said it’s, and I quote, ‘bad ass.’”

“Well, I guess that’s a good thing.” Ainsley said. “Where are you from Donna?”

“Wisconsin.”

“Is it nice out there?”

“Oh, yeah. I’m from Madison. Where there are not as many farms as Josh claims.”

“You talk about Josh a lot.” Ainsley noted casually.

“Oh, do I?” Donna stumbled. “I’m sorry. We’re in the White House, and Josh and I are close, and I guess I just --”

“It’s okay.” Ainsley laughed. “I think it’s great that you guys are friends, too.”

“You do?”

“Sure. Why wouldn’t I?”

“I don’t know. I just thought that...”

“I’m conservative and any personal relationship between a supervisor and subordinate is inappropriate?” Ainsley finished.

“Um....”

“I don’t think that.” Ainsley said. “I’m from North Carolina and was raised on the importance of family values, staying true to yourself and keeping your close friends. Friends come in all different forms, Donna.”

“Even the Republican form.” Donna smiled.

“Evidently.” Ainsley smiled back. She liked Donna. Donna seemed genuinely interested in showing Ainsley around and making her feel welcome, something Ainsley wasn’t feeling a lot of. 

“DONNA!” came a familiar bellow down the corridor behind them.

“Have you met Josh yet?” Donna asked with an eye roll, turning in the direction of the sound of her husband’s voice.

“Sort of.” Ainsley said. “During a heated debate with Sam last night.”

“Joshua, I told you not to bellow.” Donna immediately admonished when he approached.

“I can’t help it today.” he countered. “It’s a bellowing kind of day. $50,000 fucking dollars, Donna! That’s ALMOST college tuition.”

“We’ll figure it out. You work for an important man.”

“I’M an important man. They don’t seem to care.” He finally noticed that Donna was not there alone. “Ainsley. Leo said you accepted the job after all.”

“Here I am.” Ainsley smiled back. She was determined to make these people like her. “Your assistant was just showing me around.”

“You should stick by her.” he recommended. “She has a soft spot for Republicans.”

“Josh.” Donna groaned dramatically again.

“And I have a soft spot for her.” Josh smiled at his wife, who Ainsley noted blushed. Ainsley could see that these two were very close, perhaps a little more close than friends. She wondered just how deep these two ran. “Hey, you’re our new lawyer.” Josh said turning back to Ainsley. “And you’re conservative. I’d be interested in your opinion.”

“Josh, don’t pick a fight.” Donna warned.

“I’m not picking a fight.” he defended. “She’s here because the President likes smart people who disagree with him.”

“That’s what Leo said.”

“Well, then this is why she’s here.”

“Okay. Well, let’s talk and walk.” Donna said moving them along. “There’s only so long I have until the President is ready again.” 

“You’re not finished with that yet?” Josh asked incredulously.

“No.”

“What the hell?”

“Over here, Josh.” Ainsley said redirecting him back to the previous conversation. These two could kind of make your head spin.

“Oh. Sam wants me to sue the Ku Klux Klan for 100 million dollars.” Josh told Ainsley. “Backed by the Southern Poverty Law Center.”

“And I’m telling you again, I don’t think you should do it.” Donna insisted.

“Well, I absolutely don’t think you should do it.” Ainsley announced.

Josh and Donna stopped and turned to her in interest. “Really?” Josh asked.

“See, Josh? Thank you, Ainsley. And she’s a lawyer. And come to think of it, she’s YOUR lawyer.” Donna said pointing a finger at Josh and they started walking again.

“They shot me.” Josh replied. “You don’t think I should sue the people who almost killed me?”

“Those people are dead and members of West Virginia White Pride.” Ainsley replied.

“Backed by the KKK.” Josh argued.

“Josh, just because I support the right to bear arms, doesn’t mean I condone when people use them for illegal purposes, first of all. Secondly, you’re the White House Deputy Chief of Staff. It’s going to look like David and Goliath, you abusing your political office for personal gain.”

“That’s what Donna said.”

“You’re an ivy league graduate twice. You make more than minimum wage, you can handle the insurance claim. Sue the insurance company.” Ainsley said. “This isn’t a personal injury claim, Josh. It’s a law suit that will get a lot of media attention. Plus, you’re going to let these people who hate you ask you many personal questions, delve into your personal life and your family’s, and your friend’s lives, and this administration, and then put it on Hard Copy. You went to law school. You know the doors you’re opening by doing that.”

Josh looked over at Donna, a little lost in thought. Everything Ainsley said was true. He hated these people enough, he didn’t want them judging him or his wife, his family, his friends. The insurance company he could handle; this was a horse of a different color.

“Thanks, Ainsley.” Josh said. Ainsley was happy to see that he seemed to genuinely mean it. Sam could be a pretty formidable sparring partner, but from what she’s seen of Josh, he could be downright ruthless, as could Toby, in Ainsley’s opinion. She didn’t mind honest debate, if there were mutual feelings of respect underneath the debate. “Don’t be too long.” Josh said lightly to Donna before turning and walking away. Ainsley took note of the way Josh’s voice seemed to soften a bit as he addressed Donna. She thought he was right, he did have a soft spot for his assistant.

It was her second day on the job. She was off to a rocky start, but her opinion of these people was the same as it was yesterday. They were politically deluded, but they were very real.

TBC


	4. Secret - Alternate Ending, The

Donna stared at her computer monitor in a trance. She hadn’t been able to concentrate on anything all day. She thought work would take her mind off everything and leave her too busy to think about it. But sitting outside his empty office knowing he was in with Dr. Keyworth only made it worse.

His words from last night kept playing over in her mind like a soundtrack. “Betrayed by my own wife.” “I never took you as the kind to run to Leo, Donna.” And her ultimate favorite, “I thought you loved me.”

How dare he question her love for him! How dare he think that after all they’d been through, and all she had done for him that she would consider doing anything that wasn’t in his best interests.

He wouldn’t tell her what exactly happened with the window. It was obvious when she saw his injured hand, but he had only said that super would fix it in the morning. He left the Christmas party early saying he didn’t feel well and insisting she stay behind “so it wouldn’t look bad.” The apartment reaked of Scotch when she got home.

“Donna.”

Donna literally shook herself out of her thoughts at the sound of the First Lady’s voice.

“Ma’am!” Donna greeted standing up.

“Shut down your computer and come up to the Residence with me.”

“Oh, ma’am....”

“Josh will be a while yet, and Leo is going to send him up when he’s done so I can take a look at his hand. It’s okay.”

Against her better judgement, Donna powered down her computer and grabbed her tote bag, then followed the First Lady out of the bullpen. As they passed the room Josh was in with Dr. Keyworth, she considered telling him where she was going. This was precisely the kind of strange thing that set him off lately. Something so inconsequential as her leaving her desk when he wasn’t in his office could make him snappy for the rest of day. Whatever was going on, she hoped Dr. Keyworth was successful in pinpointing it.

Abbey didn’t say anything to Donna while they walked through the corridors. Abbey had suspected that Josh was having issues from the shooting. It wasn’t uncommon. And while Josh certainly didn’t look his best lately, he hid the effects a lot better than Donna was. Donna looked exhausted, nervous, apprehensive. She was instantly on the defensive when anyone asked about Josh.

Once they were alone in the Residence, Abbey ordered them both tea. “Why don’t you tell me what happened?” Abbey said gently.

Before Donna knew it, she was crying and telling Abbey everything. She told her how when she got home from the Christmas party, she found the window broken in the apartment. Josh refused to either let her see his hand or tell her what had happened, though Donna could easily put two and two together. He wouldn’t meet her eyes, he wouldn’t tell her what happened. He didn’t even sleep in their bedroom. He had simply said that the super would be fixing the window in the morning. He accused her of going behind his back to Leo.

“He was so angry with me.” Donna said quietly as she finally got herself under control.

“Donna, you know Josh doesn’t mean any of those things, right?”

“Maybe not rationally once his head clears, but he does then.” Donna said. “If you could hear the venom around some of the things he says...”

“Oh, I can imagine.” Abbey sighed. “He’s dealing with issues from the shooting that’s difficult for you and I to imagine. But this is Dr. Keyworth’s specialty. I’ve seen this before, Donna. Josh is very good at hiding when things are wrong, when something affects him personally. It’s what makes him so good at his job.”

“He’s scared to admit there’s anything wrong, I think. He’s afraid of getting fired.”

“Well, if Jed didn’t fire him when he found out Josh married his assistant in secret, I’m sure he’s not going to fire him for this.”

Donna’s eyes widened at Abbey’s admission. “The President knows?”

“I told him a few days ago after Josh blew up in the Oval Office.” Abbey nodded.

“Did you tell Leo?”

“No, just Jed.”

“Was he mad?”

“He was surprised.” Abbey shrugged. In truth, he was stunned, but Abbey pointed out they had a few bombshells of their own that they’d neglected to mention to anyone.

Donna dropped her face in her hands, rubbed a bit then looked up. Abbey’s heart went out to her when she saw the utter despair on the younger woman’s face. She had grown very fond of Donna since they came to the White House, and especially since the night of the shooting. People like Donna, in Abbey’s opinion, embodied why they were here. She was smart, she was funny, she was beautiful, and she had enough naivete that she looked at the world for all its possibilities and not all its negativity. She gave someone like Josh a lot of balance.

Donna got along with everyone. Well, Mandy didn’t seem too fond of her, but Mandy left shortly after the shooting. It seemed like CJ, Sam and Toby found something of a little sister in Donna, and Abbey smiled to herself at the thought that even in the early days of the campaign, Josh never seemed to see her that way.

Jed used to love to swap trivia with Donna on the long campaign trips. Donna was about Ellie’s age, and Abbey suspected that Jed liked the fact that he could connect with Donna in a way that he couldn’t seem to connect with Ellie. Now that Abbey really thought of it, she was interested at just how much Donna was woven into what went on there on a daily basis, and that was before she even sat at her desk to do her job.

“Donna, why don’t you go into the guest room and lay down for a little while.” Abbey suggested.

“Oh no, ma’am. I’m fine.” Donna instantly refused. That was the other thing Abbey noticed. Donna never wanted to be a burden on anyone.

“Honey, you look like you’ve been hit by a bus. Josh will be down there a while yet, and I still have to fix his hand.”

“Thank you, ma’am, really, but I could never --”

“I know.” Abbey nodded. “But even when you’re the caretaker, it’s nice to be taken care of sometimes, too. Plus, you’ll be no good to Josh when he’s done if you’re dead on your feet. I think he’s going to be pretty drained from all this today.”

“I don’t know, ma’am....” Donna hedged.

“Donna, I’m the First Lady of the United States.” Abbey finally said firmly. “Get your ass down to the guest room right now and lay down, that’s an order.”

Donna smiled and shook her head. “Yes, ma’am.” she said standing up.

“Tell your kids you slept in the White House.”

“I’ve slept in the White House before, ma’am.” Donna chuckled.

“I mean other than your desk at an un-Godly hour.” Abbey shot back. She led Donna to the guest room and showed her where the lights were and the bathroom that was attached to it. After Donna had stretched out and closed her eyes, she shut the lights off and closed the door. She had barely taken a step away, when she heard a sob come from the bedroom.

No sooner had Donna gone to lay down then the President emerged with Josh. Josh truly looked like he went to hell and back today. He also looked none too pleased to be there.

“I see I’m not the only one ordering people around tonight.” Abbey noted.

“Ma’am?” Josh asked confused.

“Your wife.” Abbey informed. “I’ve ordered her to lay down and get some rest. She needs it. She looks almost as bad as you do.”

“God, she hates me.” Josh said. He covered his face with his hands and sat down on the couch.

“She doesn’t hate you.” Abbey said walking over to him. “But she’s very confused.”

“Well, that makes two of us.” he sighed dropping his hands.

“You’re going to have to talk to her.” Jed said. “But first let Abbey take care of your hand.”

TBC


	5. Secret - Alternate Ending, The

“Why do you keep looking at me like that, Josh?” the President asked spooning into his ice cream.

“I just can’t believe you’re not pissed at me.”

“For what?”

“Being married to my assistant.”

“You and Donna obviously belong together, Josh. How can I be pissed at that?”

“You’re a hopeless romantic, sir.” Josh smirked.

“Maybe.” the President shrugged.

“I didn’t mean to lie to anybody.”

“I don’t know that you have.” the President said. Josh didn’t noticed the look the First Lady shot her husband.

“I didn’t tell anyone about it. Well, I told CJ, but I didn’t tell her we got it annulled.”

“Has anyone asked you if you’re married to Donna?”

“Toby.”

“And what did you say?”

“I said, yes.”

“Where’s the lie?”

“I didn’t tell you.”

“And you think not volunteering information is still a lie Josh?” the President asked as he watched Abbey stitch up Josh’s hand. Josh looked at him curiously. He didn’t seem to be asking Josh if he thought he was lying. He seemed to be asking Josh’s personal opinion on it.

“I don’t know, sir.” he confessed. “It’s not like somebody asked me and I lied about it. But I also didn’t consciously choose to share the information either.”

“How much longer do you think you’re going to be able to get away with it?”

“I don’t know. You don’t seem to be blowing your stack over it, so probably a little while yet.”

“Well no. I’m not blowing my stack as you and CJ are so fond of saying.” the President said dryly. “You and Donna are good for each other. She keeps you grounded and you respond well to her. After the shooting, you had some kind of determination around her.”

“She’d kick my ass if I didn’t try.” Josh agreed matter of factly.

“She has a quiet strength.” the President noted. “I don’t know her well. I haven’t had the amount of interaction with her that I’ve had with the senior staff, and so I easily forget how strong she is.” The more the President talked about Donna, the more depressed Josh got over how he had treated her.

“Do you think I’m cracking up sir?”

“No, Josh. We all have inner demons.”

“All done.” Abbey announced. “I’ll give you a script for an antibiotic in the morning. For now, head down to the guest room to your wife. She’s exhausted and worried about you.”

“I think she was afraid of me.” Josh whispered looking down at his newly bandaged hand.

“I think you’re forgetting about that quiet strength.” Abbey smiled knowingly, and nodded her head off in the direction of the guest room.

“If it’s all the same to you, ma’am, I’m just going to take her home.”

“It’s 12:45, Josh, and she was really exhausted.”

“It’s 12:45?”

“Yes.”

“It’s Christmas then.” Josh smiled.

“Yes, it is.” the President nodded smiling. “Merry Christmas.”

“You too, sir, and ma’am.” Josh replied. “Thank you for the offer, but I really think I just want to take her home.”

“Okay.” Abbey nodded. “I’ll write you the prescription while you go wake her up.”

Josh left the kitchen, crossed the sitting area and cautiously opened the guest room door. He crept in quietly in the dark and knelt down next to the bed.

“I’m not sleeping.” came a quiet and detached voice from the bed.

“You should have been. It’s late.”

Donna reached over and turned on the light on the bedside table. They both squinted against the sudden brightness, and Donna sat up.

“Josh, I wasn’t going to sleep while you were going through hell.”

“You just thought you’d join me there.”

“If that’s where you are, then yeah, that’s where I am, too.”

“Let’s go home.” he said rising off his knees and offering her his uninjured hand.

“That’s it? That’s all?”

“No. But that’s it here.”

She stared at him for a moment, and he could have sworn she looked like she was deciding if she could trust him. He wouldn’t blame her if she was. He’d been nothing but unpredictable lately. But he didn’t know that it was Donna’s exhaustion now getting the best of her. She wanted all this to be over. She wanted him to stop hurting. She wanted the tension to break.

She took his hand, and he didn’t realize he was holding his breath until it escaped him at that moment. As she stood before him, before she could move past him, he framed her face in his hands. “I love you so much, Donna.” he whispered. “I’m sorry I’ve been...unforgivable.”

“I love you, too.” she smiled lightly. “You haven’t been unforgivable. We’ll talk about it at home.”

Abbey was waiting for them outside the room. She handed the prescription to Donna, along with the name and address of a pharmacy that would be open on Christmas. Then Abbey hugged Donna tightly. When they pulled away, Josh noticed the tears in Donna’s eyes, and pulled her away briskly before they fell.

“Are you okay?” He asked once they were out of the Residence.

“Yeah.” she nodded. “I’m just...I’m really tired.”

“Me too.”

The ride back to their place was predictably quiet. They took a cab, neither of them completely trusting each other to drive and he held her hand the entire way as she rested her head on his shoulder. It was the first time in weeks she wasn’t afraid of touching him.

When they returned to their apartment, Donna smiled has Josh plugged in her Christmas tree. It had been mostly off since she put it up. Everything about Christmas this year seemed to annoy him. She had almost taken it down at one point.

She took off her coat and sat down on the couch. He took off his, but remained standing.

“The Christmas music in the lobby,” he began softly. “Stanley says in my head it sounded like sirens.”

“Sirens?”

“He said I have post-traumatic stress disorder. I haven’t been remembering the shooting, I’ve been reliving it and the music seems to be the trigger. Yo Yo Ma I suppose was just too much.”

He looked down at the floor, unable to meet her eyes when he saw her start crying, but she crossed the room and wrapped her arms around him, giving him the hug he so desperately needed.

“Do you hate me?” he whispered into her shoulder.

“No, Josh.” she said, framing his face with her hands and kissing his forehead. “I didn’t know what was going on, and it seemed the smallest thing I did or said pissed you off.”

“He wants me to do follow up appointments and take something for a while.”

“Okay.” she nodded. “That’s no big deal, Josh. You used to go see someone.”

“Yeah, but I wasn’t wild about the visual.”

“Well, get wild about it.” she said with finality.

“I ruined Christmas.”

“No, you didn’t.” she smiled with a small laugh. “If things went the other way in August, THAT would have been ruining Christmas. And I don’t love you any less.”

His eyes widened at her last statement. “How’d you know I was thinking that?”

“I’m tuned to you.”

“You’re creepy.”

“You got to get to know me.” she smiled.

“I’m glad I have.” he said turning serious again. “I don’t know what I would have done without you. I was horrible to you and you never gave up on me.”

“And I never will.”

TBC


	6. Secret - Alternate Ending, The

“Hey, Josh?” Donna said quietly coming into his office and softly closing the door.

“Hey, baby. What’s up?” He replied looking up from what he was reading.

“We got a wedding invitation for my sister.”

“Megan’s getting married?” Josh asked furrowing his brow. “To who?”

“Her fiancé David.”

“That pinhead!? She can’t be serious.” Josh yelped, popping out of his chair. “That guy was so frigging boring!”

“He wasn’t boring, Josh.” Donna replied. “You met him last year, for like half an hour before we left my parents’ house.”

“And he couldn’t impress me in half an hour.”

“I think you’re a hard sell.” Donna said rolling her eyes.

“You impressed me in, like, 30 seconds.”

“You wanted to sleep with me.”

“Did not!”

Donna glared at him.

“Okay, fine, did too. BUT you had a crazy sales pitch and anyone in their right mind would have sent you packing, but I was impressed.” Josh rambled. “That guy kept talking to your parents about math.”

“He’s an accountant.”

“I’m a politician! I didn’t talk to your parents about politics.”

“Because we were dead tired. And you and my parents get into it all the time.”

“I don’t want that guy to be my brother-in-law.” Josh scoffed dropping back down into his chair.

“You don’t have much of a choice.”

“When’s the wedding?”

“April 4th.”

“April 4th is our anniversary! I’m not sharing it with Davie the boring pinhead.”

“It’s NOT our anniversary.” Donna countered. “And it’s not like Megan knew that when she set the date.”

“An accountant is getting married during tax season? I would never get married during election season.” Donna arched a brow at him. “Technically, election season was over.”

“Uh-huh.”

“Can I get out of this conversation?”

“No.”

“Why?”

“I’m in the wedding, Josh.” Donna replied. “She asked me to be her matron of honor. We’re going to Wisconsin.”

“You don’t look like a matron to me.” Josh leered. He popped back out of his chair and slowly backed her up against the credenza.

“Joshua, focus.”

“Oh, I’m focused.”

“We have to take time off in April and go to Wisconsin.”

“I heard you. My ears are connected to my brain.”

“How are we going to explain that to Leo?”

Josh detached his lips from her neck and picked his head up. “What’s wrong with the truth?”

“The truth truth?” 

“The President and First Lady know. They’re okay with it. Leo won’t have much of a choice.”

“I don’t think that’s true.” Donna replied. “He may not fire us, but he can still transfer me.”

“I guess we’d need to ask ourselves if we’re ready for that.” Josh sighed.

“If WE’RE ready?”

“Okay, me.” Josh conceded.

“That’s a bit more like it.”

“I know you’re not going to work with me forever.” he said rubbing his hands along her upper arms. “I’m just so used to having you out there now, and so used you always being there when I need you.”

“Josh, I’m your wife. I’m always going to be there when you need me. You’re always going to be able to get in touch with me when you need to talk to me, and we live together.”

“I guess I’m just not ready to give the safety of it up.”

“What do you mean?”

“We go home at night, Donna, and no one bugs us. No one wants to do stuff with us, no one intrudes. It’s almost like a safe harbor or something.”

“On the other hand,” Donna said huskily, wrapping her arms around his neck. “We could dance close at the State of the Union reception. We could walk along the Mall and hold hands.”

He sucked his breath in as she took his earlobe into her mouth. “That’s a.... that’s a strong argument you’re making there.”

“Everyone would know you’re my man.” Her voice was dripping with the sexy now, and he rolled his eyes with the wanting trying like hell to force himself to remember where they were. “I could actually wear my ring on my finger. I could be married in public, Josh.”

That peaked his attention and he pulled his head back and looked at her. “This is bothering you.”

“It’s really bothering me lately.” she nodded and he noted how her face fell.

“Okay.” He nodded firmly, then opened the office door. “Let’s go tell Leo.”

“What!?” she screeched and pushed the door shut, just as Sam appeared in the doorway. “Just like that? No plan?”

He pulled the door open again. Sam began to open his mouth to say something. “What do I need a plan for?” Josh asked her. “It’s the truth.”

Donna pushed the door shut again on Sam. “Josh, you just told me you didn’t know if you were ready to part with me if he wanted to transfer me.”

Josh pulled the door back open again, and there was Sam, standing there with his hands on his hips. “Yeah, well, it’s not worth you being unhappy. I’m going to Leo’s office. Are you coming or not?”

She sighed and turned to follow him, but they stopped when they saw Sam. “Oh, hey, Sam.” Josh greeted. “Did you need something?”

“I wanted to know if Donna knew anything about why Kathy, Bonnie and Ginger are typing so slow.” Sam said. Josh turned and looked pointedly at his wife.

“What?” she asked, giving Josh her best innocent face.

“Were you or were you not expressly ordered by Leo to cut that out?” he demanded, returning her doe-eyed look with an unhappy glare.

“Carpal tunnel is very serious, Josh.” She argued as they left his office and began walking towards Leo’s office.

“I’m not saying it’s not. I’m saying you were given an order by the Chief of Staff and you ignored it.”

“I didn’t ignore it. I just haven’t spoken to Ginger, Bonnie, and Cathy yet is all.” she shrugged.

“See that you do.”

“Fine.”

“Today.”

“I said fine.”

“And make sure to give me a lot lip about it before you do.”

“You want lip? I’ll show you lip.” she rounded on him in the corridor and he was more than a little surprised, and a bit turned on, by her sudden show of assertiveness. “Carpal tunnel syndrome doesn’t just affect the ability to type or pinch,” she said enunciating the word ‘pinch,’ as he absently rubbed his ear, “but it affects all the things I could do with my hands and wrists. Think about THAT for a second, Joshua.”

She spun on her heel and stomped off towards Leo’s office. “You two have a very odd relationship, Josh.” Sam noted.

“You have to be on the inside to understand it.” Josh replied, then followed his wife.

TBC


	7. Secret - Alternate Ending, The

“Hey, Leo. Can we talk to you for a minute?” Josh asked entering Leo’s office, followed by Donna.

Leo looked up from the file he was reading. As soon as he saw the seriousness of Josh’s face, he launched himself out of his chair and walked over to them. “Are you all right? What’s wrong?”

“Nothing’s wrong. I just need to talk to you.” Josh replied.

“You’re all right?” Leo assured.

“Yeah.” Josh replied slowly. Donna smiled softly at the interaction between the two men. “Donna and I need time off to go to Wisconsin.”

“So, why are you talking to me?” Leo replied. “That’s human resources. Put in the vacation requests and tell me when it is so we can cover for you.”

Josh and Donna exchanged wary looks. “You don’t know want know WHY we need to go to Wisconsin?”

“Donna’s family’s there.” Leo shrugged, returning to his chair.

“Her sister’s getting married.” Josh confirmed.

“Congratulations, Donna.”

“Umm...thanks.” she said. She was completely unsure of what was going on right now. Was Leo really that distracted that he was completely missing Josh saying he and his assistant were going to Wisconsin on a trip that had nothing to do with work? A look in her husband’s direction told her that Josh was just as confused right now.

“Are you okay, Leo?” Josh asked taking a step closer to his mentor.

“Well, I just got the life scared out of me with your little serious entrance there, but I’m over it now. I’m okay.”

“And you don’t think it’s strange that I’m telling you I’m going to Wisconsin with Donna for her sister’s wedding?” Josh was apprehensive about getting to the bitch slapping sooner, but this just wasn’t making sense. Leo was much sharper than this.

“Listen,” Leo said looking back up at them. “I realize I’m the one in the room with the failed marriage, but I wasn’t so much of an idiot that I didn’t know that’s the kind of things wives expect from husbands.”

Josh and Donna dropped their jaws and stared at Leo in utter shock. Neither one of them could seem to utter a word. Leo smirked at them and looked back down to their file.

“YOU KNOW!?” Josh shrieked, as the connecting door to the Oval Office opened and the President appeared.

“What am I? Stupid?” Leo replied.

Donna was still staring at Leo in frozen shock, and all Josh could do was sputter. “How... what...” He turned to the President. “He KNOWS!”

“Knows what?” the President asked.

“About me and Donna! Leo knows!”

“You know?” the President asked turning to Leo in surprise.

“When did YOU find out, sir?” Leo asked.

“Christmas. When did YOU find out?”

“Right after the election when his mother called me.”

“My mother told you?!”

“She was calling her husband’s oldest friend to share good news about her son.” Leo shrugged.

“But...”

“Use your words, Josh.” Leo admonished with a smirk. “You’re a big boy, and sometimes even well spoken.”

“So, you knew and didn’t say anything?” the President said, shooting a look to Leo that Josh picked up on.

“It’s not remotely the same thing.” Leo replied to the President.

“How?” the President countered.

“I hate to break up whatever sidebar is going on here,” Josh said. “But I want to get back to Leo knowing and being okay with this.”

“Look,” Leo said. “I was going to tell you I knew about it. I wasn’t too pissed about it. Donna seemed to be pretty good for you. I was trying to figure out what to do about work, but you seemed so adamant that Donna work for you and you said she was going to school. So, I figured I’d see how it went through transition when no one cared and if it worked out, let it go. You seemed to not want the world to know about it.”

“Because I thought you’d freak out!” Josh yelped.

“Well, you were quite obviously wrong. You’re working well together, and keeping everything low key. Donna finishes school in a few more semesters and then she’ll be over qualified for her job.” Leo reasoned.

“Okay. So if you know,” the President said. “And you’re okay with it, and I’m okay with it, how do we put it out there?”

“Oh, we don’t.” Leo replied firmly.

“What?” Josh asked.

“Really?” the President replied crossing his arms across his chest. “Do tell as to why not.” Josh couldn’t help but think that though they were talking about he and Donna, at the same time, they were talking about something completely different.

“It’ll look like we were intentionally hiding something. It’ll look like we were condoning a lie.” Leo said directly to the President. “It’ll look like we were making something political look personal.”

“I didn’t lie. Nobody asked me.” Josh said.

“The American public’s not going to care about that.” Leo countered, then looked to Josh. “The American public will say not disclosing it is the same thing as lying. The PR will be a nightmare. They’ll call you unprofessional, they’ll call you unbelievable. And that’s nothing compared to what they’re going to call your wife. It could drag down anything you’re trying to get accomplish on the Hill and you’ll lose your credibility.”

There was quiet in the room as everyone took in what Leo said. Josh still thought that they weren’t a hundred percent talking about him right now. He did know that he didn’t want to get into this with Leo now. He could kick it around with Toby and talk it out to figure something out and come back to Leo with a pitch. The President seemed to be on his side with this.

“Okay.” Josh sighed running a hand down his face. “I’ll send you a memo with the dates we’ll be gone.”

“Anything else?” Leo asked.

“No. Thanks.” Josh said. Then tugged Donna out of the office. She was quiet the whole walk back to the bullpen and went straight to her desk.

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah, why wouldn’t I be?” she asked brushing at her face. He couldn’t tell from this angle, but he was pretty sure she just brushed away a tear.

“Donna.” he said. She looked up at him and he could see she was about to lose it. “Look, it’s 6 o’clock. Let’s get out of here. I’m going to talk to Toby about this. I’m not going to let that be the last word.”

“Yeah?” she asked with a hint of a smile.

“Yeah.” he nodded affirmatively. “If it’s important to you, it’s important to me. I’m not done with that yet.”

“Okay.” she smiled.

“Shut down your computer and let’s get out of here.”

“It’s early.” she smiled as she followed his instructions and he started to walk back to his office. “What are we going to do?”

He stopped abruptly and returned to her desk. “Wanna go to a movie?”

She slung her tote bag over her shoulder and looked at him. “Really?”

“When’s the last time you’ve been to a movie?”

“I think before I joined the campaign.” she said thinking.

“I can’t remember the last time I saw a movie in the theater.” he replied going into his office and she followed him.

“What about dinner?” she asked as he shut down his computer and grabbed his coat and phone.

“Italian?” he asked.

“Joshua, are we going on a date?” she smiled.

“We sort of skipped that part.”

“We skipped a lot of things.”

“True.” he conceded. “So, what do you say?” He continued walking over to her. “Are you free tonight?”

“Absolutely.”

TBC


	8. Secret - Alternate Ending, The

“Baby, you are a vision in -- what the hell color is this?”

“Sage.”

“Sage.” Josh said. “It’s beautiful on you.”

“Josh, the dress is hideous.” Donna said, scrunching up her nose and looking down at her bridesmaid dress.

“Yes, but the color becomes you. I love this color on you. This and red.”

“You have a red fettish.” Donna replied taking a sip of her water and looking around at the crowded reception hall of her sister’s wedding.

“Well, it looks really sexy against that delicious alabaster skin.” He said softly against her ear, then placed a soft kiss on her bare shoulder. “I will say though, that that delicious alabaster skin looks a little pale. Are you feeling any better?”

Donna shrugged and continued to look away from him. “Hey.” he said, tugging on her elbow and demanding her attention. “What’s going on?”

“I don’t feel very well.” she confessed. “I think I’m coming down with something.”

“Well, go to the doctor.”

“Yeah, right.” she scoffed.

“Donna...”

“When am I going to have time to do that?” she countered. “Between work and school, my sister’s wedding, and whatever is going on that had you and Toby holed up in his office until all hours of last night and has got you looking totally freaked out, there aren’t enough hours in the day.”

“Well, MAKE the time, Donna. I don’t want you getting sick.” She was right. With what was coming down the pike, he needed her healthy and not distracted. Donna laughed at his request. “You would if this were me.”

“That’s because I control the schedule. You don’t even know what day of the week it is.”

“Patently untrue. It’s Saturday.”

“It’s Friday.”

“Really, it’s Friday?”

“Yes, Josh.” she sighed.

She sipped her water and looked around the room again. He took the time to get a close look at her. She looked more tired than she did that morning. She also looked pale and oddly, enough, a little flushed.

“Donnatella.” he said gently. At the sound of his voice, she turned back. “Let’s go. You should be in bed.”

“I can’t go yet.” she refused. “I’m the matron of honor and Megan still has to do the garter and cake.”

Before he could continue his argument, she plunged into the crowd. He rolled his eyes and turned to the bar and ordered a Scotch straight.

“They never listen.” chuckled a man next to him. Josh looked over and sized the man up. He was good looking, dressed in a tux and leaning up against the bar with a drink. Something about him rubbed Josh the wrong way. Josh was pretty good at reading people.

“She’s headstrong.” Josh said casually with a shrug.

“Oh, I know.” the man laughed again. Josh felt his blood run cold. This man obviously knew his wife well and wanted him to know it. Josh realized he must have come across an ex-boyfriend of his wife’s.

“Oh yeah?”

“Oh yeah.” the man nodded. “I almost asked her to marry me, but she dumped me before I could to go work for some politician.” It was moments like these that reminded Josh just how good at his job he was. Though he was screaming inside, outwardly, this guy just saw the calm, cool, and collected seasoned political operative, a man that didn’t have a care in the world.

“You mean President Bartlet?” Josh asked through clenched teeth.

“No. I don’t think it was Bartlet she was going back to.” the man said finally turning to Josh straight on. “I think it was you.”

“Me?”

“Listen, I may not be boyfriend of the year, but I’m fairly intelligent. Idiots don’t pass the medical boards. I know who you are.”

“I was on CNN quite a bit a few months ago, most people do.” Josh tossed back.

“I’m sure you figured out who I am.”

“Paul Tanner, M.D. Graduate of University of Wisconsin School of Medicine, passed the medical exam in 2000 on your first try, did your residency at the University of Wisconsin Medical Center and a fellowship in orthopedics and has recently applied for board certification in that specialty. You graduated 23rd in your class and recently bought a boat.”

“You’ve done your homework.”

“You get more parking tickets than my wife.”

“Your wife?”

“Donna.”

“Well, that I hadn’t heard. You’re a lucky man.”

“Yes, I know.”

“You’re profile on the White House website says you’re single.”

“It’s wrong.”

“Apparently.”

“Josh?” Lynn Moss said walking up to the two men. Of course she recognized Donna’s ex-boyfriend, but chose not to acknowledge him. “Donna really doesn’t look well. I think she should go.”

“Did you tell her that?” Josh asked turning his attention to his mother in law, “because I did and got no where.”

“Yes, I did. Come get her before she falls over.”

Lynn walked away. Josh took a step to follow her, but stopped and turned back to Paul at the bar. “I’ve seen hundreds of guys like you.” Josh said in a low voice. “You climb fast, but fall faster.” Rather than elaborate, he walked away. He wanted to turn around and punch him in the face, but he didn’t want the good doctor to think he got to Donna that way; he didn’t want him to think he got to HIM that way.

All thoughts of Dr. Freeride were banished from his mind though when he saw his wife. She looked truly miserable, sitting a table with her forehead in her hand.

“Baby, your face matches the color of your dress.” Josh said quietly as he knelt in front of her.

“Gee, Josh, you really know bring the warm fuzzy words.”

He gently pulled her to her feet and kissed her forehead. “You’re burning up. Let’s get you back to your parents’.”

“I saw you met Paul.” Donna said as Lynn walked up with Donna’s coat.

“And I didn’t knock him out. You should be proud of me.”

“I am. That was very adult of you.”

“I must be delirious. Did you call me an adult?” he draped her coat around her shoulders and wrapped an arm around her, she in turn dropped her head onto his shoulder.

“Don’t take it personally.”

“All right.” he chuckled, leading her out of the ballroom.

TBC


	9. Secret - Alternate Ending, The

Josh came barreling through the bullpen doors. He was about to bellow for his wife, when he noticed the small crowd of women gathered around her desk. He walked over and found CJ, Bonnie, Carol, Ginger and Margaret all looking very concerned.

“What’s this?” Josh asked. Ginger and Margaret parted and Josh saw why everyone looked so concerned.

His wife looked like hell.

“We’ve been trying to convince her to go home, Josh.” Ginger said. “I think she’s got the flu.”

“I can’t believe you didn’t send her home this morning, Josh.” CJ admonished. “She looks miserable.”

Josh glared at CJ in warning, then turned his attention to Donna. “Think maybe NOW you’ll go to the doctor, Donnatella?” he asked.

“I have class tonight.” she croaked.

“No, I don’t think so.” Josh said, then looked down at his watch. “I leave for Chicago with the President in half an hour. I’ll drive you home and come back.”

“You don’t have enough time.” she whispered.

“Well, I’ll be dead and buried before I leave you like this.” he countered. “So, get it together. You’re leaving.”

When looked up at him, Josh realized this was going to be a much bigger project than he alone could handle. She needed to see a doctor and he was leaving in half an hour. He was torn now between his job and her. She needed him. And he liked when she needed him because usually it was the other way around. Of course, they’d be back within 24 hours. They were going out for a speech and coming back right after.

“What the hell is this?” Came bark from behind them.

“Donna’s sick, Leo.” Margaret jumped right in.

“She sure is.” Leo said when the crowd parted for him and he finally got a look at her. “Margaret, call over to the First Lady’s office and ask Abbey to meet us in my office. Josh, bring Donna. Margaret, after you get in touch with Abbey, have Sam come down to my office, too. He’s not coming with us this afternoon. Everyone else, get back to work.”

Margaret picked up Donna’s phone as Leo turned and stalked back to his office. Josh gently pulled Donna to her feet. When she swayed a bit in front of him, he quickly sat her back down. “I’ll wheel you down there in your chair.” he improvised.

“I’m so sorry, Josh.” she whispered as a tear fell down her cheek.

“I know you are. It’s okay.” he said quietly.

“But now you’re going to be thinking of me instead of the speech.”

“I didn’t write the speech, I don’t have to think about it.” he said as he wheeled her through the corridors. Margaret quickly caught up with them and kept a hand on Donna’s shoulder so she wouldn’t fall out.

“Donna, lay down on the couch.” Leo ordered gruffly when they entered his office. Margaret closed the office doors as Josh helped Donna to the couch.

“You really don’t need to be making this big of a fuss.” Donna said before succumbing to a coughing fit. Josh looked over at Leo pleadingly.

“Don’t look at me like that.” Leo ordered. “You’re going. The First Lady’s a world class physician. She’s certainly capable of taking care of your sick wife.”

Josh and Donna shot a quick look over at Margaret, but if she was surprised by Leo’s comment, she certainly didn’t show it.

“You summoned, Leo?” Abbey asked dryly entering the room followed by Sam.

“Yeah, look at Donna.” Leo replied.

Abbey looked over in Donna’s direction and her eyes widened slightly. “Oh Donna, honey.” Abbey cooed walking over to her. “I’ll be the farm you’ve got the flu.”

“That seems to be the general thought.” Leo said. “Josh is leaving in a little bit with us. Can you do what you can for her and Sam will take her home?”

“Maybe Josh and Sam can switch.” Abbey suggested.

“No, I need Josh.” Leo vetoed. “There’s people we need to meet with there.”

“I can do it, it’s okay.” Sam quickly assured. “I’ll even stay with her.”

“It’s just until Josh gets back, Sam.” Leo said.

“Um...okay.” Sam said a little confused. Josh and Donna had always had an unconventional relationship, but Leo didn’t seem to be finding anything at all strange about Josh staying with Donna when she was sick.

“Donna, I’m going to prescribe you some Amantadine...”

“NO!” Donna refused quickly. Everyone looked surprised at Donna’s adamant refusal of the First Lady. Nobody said no to Abbey Bartlet, especially when she was in doctor mode.

“Donna, it will ease the symptoms....”

“I can’t have it.” Donna said again shaking her head.

“Of course you can. The only reason why you wouldn’t be able to have it is if...” Abbey began but at a frantic look from Donna, the pieces fell into place. “Everyone, I need you to leave for a minute. I need to talk to Josh and Donna alone.”

Sam, Margaret and Leo walked out of the office to Margaret’s outer office. Margaret had hardly shut the door behind them when they heard Josh screech, “PREGNANT!”

Sam and Margaret’s eyes widened and Leo chuckled. “Poor kid.”

“Donna’s pregnant?” Sam hissed.

“I don’t think Josh was expecting that.” Margaret said to Leo.

“Doesn’t sound like it.” Leo smirked.

“You said he wanted to wait until after the first term.” Margaret continued.

“Yeah well, now he knows nobody plans to have a baby.”

“Wait, wait, wait.” Sam said. “What the hell is going on here?”

“Josh and Donna are going to have a baby.” Margaret said. “I though you were the smart one.”

Sam gaped in astonishment as he absorbed what they were saying then looked at Leo. “You’re okay with this?”

“Oh for the love of -- they’re married, Sam.” Leo said bluntly. “Welcome to the secret club. They got drunk on Election Day and got married.”

Sam sat down in Margaret’s chair and tried to process what Leo was saying. “Don’t take too long there, Sam.” Leo said reading through something on Margaret’s desk “We’re leaving in 15 minutes and you need to take Donna home.”

“Josh and Donna are...” said Sam.

“Yup.” Leo nodded.

“And no one knew?”

“Josh’s mother called me, Toby figured it out, Abbey figured it out and told the President, who remarkably hasn’t told anyone, and I told Margaret.”

“CJ doesn’t know?” Sam asked.

“That’s a gray area.” Leo said. “They told her when it happened and she told them to get it annulled before the inauguration, but they never told her they didn’t do it and CJ’s never asked them. So, I’m going to keep her in dark a while as punishment.”

“This is insane. I’m his best friend.”

“I’m a second father to him and he didn’t tell me. Get over it, Sam. Love makes men do really stupid things.”

The door to the office sprung back open and Abbey stood there grinning wickedly. “How’s our boy?” Leo grinned back.

“Stunned stupid.” Abbey laughed.

Margaret, Leo and Sam reentered the office. Donna was clearly upset on the couch and Josh, while looking pretty dazed, was still sympathetic to his sick wife.

Abbey took in the room’s occupants. Sam clearly just found out about Josh and Donna. Jed had told her that Leo didn’t think they should release the information of Josh and Donna’s marriage, but Sam, Donna and Margaret didn’t know the real reason why. The President had also told her that Josh said Donna was becoming increasingly frustrated by not being allowed to tell anyone.

She took immense pleasure when she turned to her husband’s Chief of Staff and said, “Well, I guess the secret is going to come out sooner rather than later, isn’t it, Leo?”

TBC


	10. Secret - Alternate Ending, The

“Sam, I need your help.” Donna said, quickly coming into Sam’s office and closing the door.

“Are you all right?” Sam asked pushing himself out of his chair and moving around the desk to her. Ever since Sam found out about Josh and Donna’s marriage and Donna’s recent delicate condition, he’s seen it as something of a sworn fealty as Josh’s best friend to look out for his wife if Josh wasn’t in the immediate vicinity (that is once he got over the shock of the information). One of those moments was now.

“No, Sam. I have a major problem.”

“What’s going on?”

“How do I get out of a deposition?”

“Your deposition before Congress?” Sam asked and Donna nodded. “You don’t. You were subpoenaed to testify before Congress. You show up and testify or you go to jail.”

“For how long?”

“For contempt of Congress?”

“Yeah.”

“Anywhere between one and 12 months.” Sam shrugged.

“I can handle that.” Donna replied. “Of course, I’ll have the baby in jail...”

“Why on Earth would you want to put yourself in contempt?”

“I can’t testify, Sam.” Donna said passionately.

“Donna, if you get thrown in jail for contempt, Josh will unspool.”

“Which he will do shortly after I testify, but at least if I don’t testify and he unspools no one will know.”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“This!” Donna yelped holding up a packet of papers and shoving them at Sam.

“The sample dep questions from Babish?”

“Yes.”

“What is your marital status? Donna, Josh already said he’s answering that.”

“Not that. Keep going.”

“Highest level of education, current address, job title. Do you keep a diary?”

“That one!”

“Do you keep a diary?”

“I do.”

“Donna, they’ll just want to know if it’s got anything about the M.S. in it.”

“It doesn’t.”

“Okay.”

“Well, nothing before it was common knowledge to the world anyway.”

“Donna, I’m not seeing --”

“Won’t they want it, Sam?”

“Probably.”

“I can’t have that.”

“Donna, I know it would be a little embarrassing, but I’m sure Babish can broker a deal where it’s just the committee lawyer that reads it.”

“NOBODY can read it, Sam, nobody.”

“Why, Donna? What’s in it?”

“Josh is in it. Sam, if anyone on that committee reads that diary, they will have an arsenal of ammo to use against him. They’ll find out about everything, the PTSD, everything that happened at Christmas, the nightmares, every time we got in a fight, when I left him and went to home to Wisconsin.”

“You left him? When?”

“Before we took office. It was juvenile and he hopped a plane to come get me. Sam! That’s not the point.”

“What’s the point, Donna?”

“Think about it, Sam. Josh’s post-traumatic stress disorder is in that diary. If anyone reads it, they’ll see it. They’ll read all about it and Josh hasn’t told anyone about it. How is that going to look? Who’s the fall guy in all this going to turn out to be? He’ll be mortified.”

“But the Sergeant at Arms for the House hauling his wife’s pregnant ass in front of the entire House body won’t be mortifying at all.”

“SAM!”

“First of all, Donna, calm down.” Sam said holding out his hands and steering her to a visitor’s chair. “Secondly, you are not bailing on the deposition. You blow it off and the committee and the American public are going to want to know what we’re hiding.”

“I’m hiding Josh.”

“You can’t. And another thing, don’t ever wonder where the money for your education went. You’ve learned a lot.”

“I can’t let this happen to him, Sam.” she whispered.

“You have to go to the deposition.”

“Then I’m going to have to lie.”

“Then what happens when they ask Josh if he keeps a journal and he says no, and they ask if his wife does, and he says yes? I’m assuming he knows you do.”

“He does.” Donna sighed heavily.

“You have to answer truthfully, Donna.” Sam said a little more quietly.

“I can’t, Sam.” Donna said allowing the tears to fall.

“You have to.” Sam assured. “I’d want to see him spared that, too. But he’ll hit the roof if he finds out you lied, and if they trap you both in a lie it’ll be ten times worse. That’s all they’re looking for. One trip up is all it takes, Donna. They’ve got nothing. We can’t hand them anything. When does Josh get back?”

“Tomorrow.” Donna sighed. Leo had sent Josh on another trip with the President. Donna often wondered if Leo was intentionally making Josh do more to see if Josh would choose between his family and his job, like he was putting Josh to some kind of test.

“You should go home and get some rest.” Sam said standing up again, and pulling her up to a standing position. “He’ll be worried sick if you look like this when he gets back.”

“Thanks, Sam.” Donna said quietly. “I’m sorry I had a meltdown on you. I know we’re not supposed to talk about it.”

“We didn’t talk about anything we shouldn’t have.” Sam shrugged. “Well, we did, but nothing they’re talking about.”

“Night, Sam.”

“Night, Donna.”

Donna walked out of Sam’s office with a heavy heart and back towards the bullpen. What was she going to do? She couldn’t let the committee get a hold of her diary. She walked into Josh’s office to close it down for the night and found Margaret standing there waiting for her.

“Do you need something?” Donna greeted.

Margaret looked around and closed the door to the office. Donna arched a brow. “I heard you just now in Sam’s office.”

“How?”

“I buzzed in to talk to Sam, but I guess you two didn’t hear it.” Margaret explained. “Listen, I know I should have hung up, but I caught the bit about you not knowing what to do and Sam being no help. I can help you, Donna.”

“I wouldn’t say Sam was no help...”

“It’s all a question of angles.”

“What?”

“Come on. I’ll drive you home.” Margaret said.

Donna was more than a little intrigued by Margaret’s mysterious actions. She followed her friend without question. When they made it to Josh and Donna’s apartment, they settled down onto the couch.

“I didn’t want to talk about this at the White House.” Margaret said conspiratorily.

“Okay.” Donna nodded.

“Sam’s right. You should answer honestly.”

Donna rolled her eyes. Margaret went through all that to tell her the same thing?

“The truth is, you did keep a diary, but you no longer do.” Margaret said. That immediately caught Donna’s attention.

“What?”

“You did keep a diary, but you no longer do.” Margaret nodded and then handed Donna a lighter. Donna looked up at Margaret amazed. “You said there’s nothing in there about the M.S. that’s relevant. I believe you. I’d never to tell you to do it if I didn’t. There’s no need for the committee to see anything else. We keep their secrets, Donna. It’s what we do.”

“Oh, Margaret.” Donna said unsure, but taking the lighter from her friend.

“I’ll do it if you want. You and I can do it together. But if you swear to me that there’s nothing in there about the M.S., then they’re not missing anything. We keep their secrets, Donna.”

“He’ll be furious.”

“He’ll get over it. You won’t be lying to the committee and you’re not destroying evidence if there’s nothing relevant in it.” Margaret reasoned.

“I don’t think he’ll see it that way, Margaret.” Donna said still unsure.

“Listen,” Margaret said. “Josh’s diagnosis at Christmas isn’t common knowledge around there. When people find out about it and it hits Hard Copy, they’ll treat him different. It’s just human nature. I’ve known Josh as long as Leo has and I don’t want to see that happen to him any more than you do.”

“You’ve known Josh that long?” Donna asked getting temporarily sidetracked.

Margaret sighed and looked at Donna a long moment. “Look, the only people who know this is Josh, and I think the President, but Leo’s actually my uncle.”

“Are you kidding me?” Donna gaped.

“Well, technically speaking, I guess he’s not anymore because we were related through marriage. My mother and Jenny McGarry were sisters. Jenny has red hair, Mallory has red hair, I have red hair.”

“You guys do look kind of alike.”

“I don’t really get along with my parents. I was putting myself through college. I ran out of money and had to take some time off to work and save up again. Leo told me to come work with him. Well, I was the only one he ever trusted and I never finished school. I went where he went.”

“That explains a lot.”

“Anyway,” Margaret said. “Josh comes back tomorrow. We can fix this tonight. Yeah, he’s going to be pissed, Donna, but even though he may never admit it, he’ll be happy it won’t ever come out. We keep their secrets, Donna.”

TBC


	11. Secret - Alternate Ending, The

Josh ran a hand down his face and looked at the transcript before him in disbelief. Leo had given him a copy of Donna’s deposition transcript for review “as her immediate supervisor,” but Josh thought that it was really so Josh knew before he testified what she said.

At the moment, Josh wished he didn’t know what she said.

He tried to hold his temper. There had to be a reason for the discrepancy. Maybe the transcript wasn’t transcribed correctly? That was unlikely.

Currently, he had two issues. One was her answer to what was her legal name. She said,  
“Donnatella Moss.” SHE’S been the one so frustrated by the continued secrecy surrounding their marriage, though the list of people who knew seemed to be growing daily.

But that didn’t bother Josh nearly as much as her answer to the question of whether or not she kept a diary. “No. I used to keep one, but no longer do.”

Blatant lie.

Donna lied to Congress. She knowingly lied to Congress, too. That wasn’t inadvertent. She didn’t even leave it at just “No,” she gave it a qualifier.

What was getting him was, she knew the penalties for lying to Congress. Oliver Babish was extremely clear on that. This is just the stupid thing they were looking for.

She was due home any minute and he had no idea what he was going to say to her. What the hell possessed her to do this? And it’s such a small detail. It’s not like she lied about something large. She lied about something small and insignificant.

He took a long swallow of his beer, but broke off when he saw the door open.

“Hi.” she smiled walking through the front door.

“Hi.” he said flatly.

“What’s wrong?”

“I have your deposition transcript here.”

“Oh.”

“Oh?”

“How’d you get that?”

“Leo gave it to me.”

“Is Leo giving the other senior staff members their assistant’s transcripts?”

“I have no idea.” Josh said. “And oddly enough, I don’t care. I care about what yours says.”

Donna dropped her backpack onto a near by chair and shrugged out of her coat. Then, she moved into the bedroom to get changed into pajamas.

“You don’t want to know what it is I’m talking about?” Josh called from his position on the couch.

“Oh, it sounds like you’re itching to point it out yourself, so I’d hate to deny you something you’re obviously looking forward to.”

“Looking forward to!?” Josh yelped jumping off the couch and heading into the bedroom after her. “You think I’ve been sitting here all night waiting for you to come home so I could ask you why you lied to a Congressional Committee?”

“Yes.” she said simply.

“I haven’t. I’ve been trying to figure out what the hell would possess you to lie in the first place!”

“I didn’t lie.” she said moving to the bathroom to brush her teeth.

“You didn’t lie?”

“No.”

“You’re lying to me right now.”

Donna stopped and turned slowly to face him. “You’re going to want to watch your words in this conversation more carefully than that, Josh.”

“Like you did in a Congressional hearing?” he countered.

“I didn’t lie.” she said again.

“‘Do you keep a diary? No. I used to but no longer do.’” Josh quoted directly from the transcript before tossing it onto her dresser.

“That’s completely true.” she said. She finished up in the bathroom and moved back to the bedroom and crawled into bed with a big yawn.

“Since when?”

“Since about a month ago.”

“Donna, what the hell are you doing?” he demanded as he saw her snuggle down into bed.

“I’m going to bed, Josh. I’m exhausted. Go ahead and continue the argument without me though. If you decide to stop acting like a jack ass and discuss this calmly though, feel free to include me in the conversation.”

“I’m not amused, Donnatella.” he snapped.

“Neither am I, Joshua.” she hissed throwing back the covers and sitting up.

“Oh, really?”

“I used to keep a diary and I no longer do. It’s gone.”

“What do you mean gone?” he asked in a low, controlled tone.

“I mean, I burned it, Josh.” she said bluntly as his eyes went wide.

“You destroyed it?”

“Yes.” she confirmed. He ran a hand through his hair and turned away from her, counted to ten, then turned back.

“Why?”

“There was nothing in there about the M.S. If I told the committee that I kept a diary, they would have subpoenaed it. They wouldn’t have found anything in there about the President’s M.S., but they would have found a lot about you.” She said firmly. Josh blinked in surprise and looked down at her. “My job is to protect you. You don’t like it? Too bad. There’s nothing you can do about it, the diary’s gone. I used to keep a diary and I no longer do. It’s the truth. I won’t go up the river for the President, Josh, but I’ll gladly hop the ferry there for you. I’m sorry you’re pissed, but I’m not sorry I did it.” By the end of her speech, she was crying. She wiped her eyes forcefully and fell back underneath the covers.

He was at a loss for words. In his wildest dreams, he wouldn’t have expected this from her, but now that he heard her reasoning, he thought he probably should have thought of that first. Of course, it all made sense. He saw her wipe the tears from her face and he sat down on the bed behind her, bracing his arm in front of her.

“It’s 9:30, what’s the matter?”

“I’m tired.” she said again. “I’m pregnant with a child you don’t want.”

Now, he was stunned and nearly speechless. When he finally recovered his voice, he asked, “Why would you think that?”

“You didn’t want any kids until after the first term.” she said through her tears. “I’m pregnant with this one right in the middle of the campaign.”

“Donna,” he said gently, tugging her to face him. “I’m not going to tell you that I wasn’t totally surprised that day in Leo’s office, but I do want a baby with you. AND this baby is coming nearly in the second term. You’re due in December. I say that’s close enough.”

“Really?” she sniffed and he nodded.

“You want this baby? You’re not mad?”

“Mad about the baby? No.” he said. “Completely furious about the diary, yes.”

“You can be as pissed as you want, but Margaret said it was for the best, and she was right.”

“Margaret!” Josh smacked his palm against his forehead and fell across her legs on the bed and she sat up.

“Yes, Margaret.” Donna said. “AND you never told me she was Leo’s niece.”

“Margaret is Leo’s niece.” he said.

“How could you not tell me that?”

“Honestly, I don’t ever think about it. I’ve known her forever and she’s worked with Leo forever, too. I just forget about that detail. Not to mention, it’s not something Leo really wants getting out. He doesn’t want to be accused of nepotism.”

“Is that why he let us work together?”

“Maybe.” Josh shrugged. “Margaret told you to get rid of it?”

“She said if there was nothing in there about the M.S. then I should burn it before my deposition.”

“How did Margaret even know?”

“You really don’t want to go any further into this, Josh.” Donna advised. “Does it really matter? It’s gone.”

“I guess not.” he sighed. “But let’s move on to the issue that you said your legal name is Donnatella Moss.”

“It is.”

“It’s Donnatella Lyman.”

“No, it’s not.”

“Since when?”

“Since always.”

“You didn’t change your name?”

“You told me not to.”

“I changed my mind.”

“Okay.” she shrugged.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. I’d prefer it that way anyway.”

She laid back down and he crawled over her and stretched out next to her, brushing some hair from her face. “Donna, I’m sorry.”

“For?”

“The secrecy seemed like such a good idea at the beginning. I was so concerned with keeping you with me at work that that was the immediate goal. The fall out never occurred to me.”

“Don’t be so hard on yourself, Josh. It never occurred to me either.” she said, reaching out and taking his hand in hers.

“I know. But I don’t ever want you to think I’m hiding you or anything like that. I’m not.”

“I know.” she nodded.

“I just question the intelligence of the original plan.”

“It was the right idea at the time, Josh.”

“I’m sorry about the deposition.” she said softly.

“I’m really pissed about that, Donna.”

“I’m not sorry I did it though, Josh.”

“I know.” he sighed. “And one day, when I’m not so pissed, I’ll probably thank you for it.”

TBC


	12. Secret - Alternate Ending, The

The West Wing was abuzz with the new gossip. This week’s was particularly good and Donna was particularly mortified. Apparently, Josh saw Margaret in the parking lot that morning and the two of them had it out by her car. Donna didn’t know who saw it, but by senior staff, it was all over the building. Several people had tried to talk to her about it, but she just shrugged and politely excused herself.

Josh on the other hand, wasn’t nearly so lucky in senior staff. As they were all sitting down, Margaret had come in to give Leo files.

“Margaret, did you really punch Josh in the stomach this morning in the parking lot?” Sam asked.

“He called me creepy.” Margaret replied.

“YOU called me a Harvard fascist and said I have my head up my ass.”

“You DO have your head up your ass, Josh.” Margaret shot back. “You’re the luckiest man on the face of the Earth, but you’re too stupid to realize it.”

“LEO!” Josh yelped pointing an accusing finger over at Margaret.

“All right. All right.” Leo said jumping into the fray.

“I think Leo could explain a few things to you, Josh.” Margaret continued on.

“I don’t think Leo wants a piece of that one, Margaret.” Josh hissed back. “I didn’t want a piece of it either.”

“I think Leo would like to turn our attention the country’s business, please.” Leo growled giving them his most intimidating glare. Margaret threw Josh another nasty look, then left the office, slamming the door behind her.

“She’s going to stonewall me all day now, you know.” Josh said to Leo.

“I have three doors, Josh.” Leo replied. “I think you can outwit her.”

“What was the argument about?” Sam asked.

“Whatever it is, it’s between Josh and Margaret.” Leo replied.

“Well, people saw it and the rumor mill is working overtime on it.” CJ said.

“So?” Leo shrugged.

“Leo,” CJ said. “The Deputy Chief of Staff was screaming at the Chief of Staff’s assistant in the parking lot. The press uses that lot, too.”

“CJ, Margaret has worked for me for 15 years.” Leo reminded. “I’ve known Josh all his life. Josh and Margaret have known each other a long time. Trust me when I tell you it was probably something stupid.”

All eyes turned to Josh and he shrugged as Margaret returned to the room and stomped over to Josh. For a second, Josh thought she was going to punch him again, but she handed him a yellow post-it instead.

“What’s this?” He asked.

“Donna’s outside. She wanted you to see it.”

He looked down at the note and smiled. “What is it?” CJ asked.

“She can’t stay late tonight. She’s got a doctor’s appointment.”

Margaret caught Josh, Leo, and Sam’s shared smiles as she walked out of the office and returned to her desk where Donna was waiting for her, sitting on the edge of it.

“Leo calls you Maggie?” Donna smiled.

“Not if he wants me to answer.”

“What’s Leo the Uncle like?”

“Amazingly similar to Leo the Boss.” Margaret said dryly.

“I can’t believe you two are related. I never would have figured that out.”

“Well, that’s the point.” Margaret returned. “Besides, technically, we’re not anymore. They got divorced.”

“You don’t divorce family.” Donna waved.

“Yeah, I know.” Margaret replied.

“Josh said you punched him in the stomach.”

“Donna, he saw me in the parking lot and started ripping my head off. He wouldn’t let me get a word in edgewise. I figured if he couldn’t breathe for a second, it would give me time to defend myself. It was strategic, and it worked. You should note that for future reference.”

“It’s a good tip.” Donna nodded. “Maybe I can use it at the State Dinner tomorrow night.”

“Are you sure you want to go?” Margaret asked. “It’s going to be really late, all that time on your feet, and you said you’ve been barely able to stay awake past ten. This is going to go until at least midnight.”

“Well, I don’t know how much of a question of want it is, it’s my job.”

“Well, you have to take care of the....” Margaret broke off as Ginger came up to her desk. “...yourself. What with late nights with school and all.”

“My dress is gorgeous though.” Donna gushed. “It’s ice blue satin and has no back. It’s Vera Wang.”

“You can afford a Vera Wang dress? Don’t we get paid the same amount?” Ginger asked. Donna’s eyes went wide.

“You need to work out a better arrangement with Toby.” Margaret covered. “We have our bosses credit cards.”

“You charged it to Josh?” Ginger laughed.

“He’ll never notice.” Donna said, especially since she took care of the bills.

Senior staff broke up and Donna popped off Margaret’s desk when she saw Josh emerge.

“I aught to punch you again.” Margaret growled at him.

“What’d I do?” He squeaked.

“She shouldn’t have to work tomorrow night.”

“Go sharpen pencils.”

“Good idea.” Margaret nodded. “When I stab them into your eye, they’ll go through faster.”

“Come on, Josh.” Donna rolled her eyes and tugged him along.

“Ow.” He said quietly rubbing his eyes in sympathy. “That would blind me.”

“Focus.”

“What time’s the appointment?”

“6:30.”

“I can bust out of here for it and come back.”

“Really?” she smiled.

“I don’t want to miss it either.” he replied as they entered his office and she pushed his door shut. She was surprised when he turned around and she attached her lips to his.

“Pregnancy increases a woman’s sex drive.” she said huskily.

“We have a lot of sex as it is.” he said against her lips.

“I know. Apparently, we’ll be having more.”

“More’s good.” Josh nodded. “I don’t know where we’re going to find the time.”

“I control the schedule.”

“Ah, yes! Brilliant delegating on my part.”

“We could run home on lunch.” she said as she tipped her head back and he kissed her neck.

“Or I could just push the credenza up against the door right now.”

“There’s two other doors.”

“One locks.”

“CJ’s doesn’t.”

“We could push the desk up against that one.”

“That’s a lot of exertion, Josh. I’ll need that energy for me.”

“Oh. Good. Lord.”

“Josh?” CJ called from her office. Donna hopped away from him just as the door opened and he made it to his chair just in time, pulling himself up to his desk. “Oh, hey, Donna.” CJ said when she saw her.

“Hi, CJ.” Donna greeted. “Well...bye.”

Josh let his gaze linger on his wife’s departing body just a little longer before turning this attention to CJ.

More sex? How was that not going to kill him?

TBC


	13. Secret - Alternate Ending, The

“Hey, CJ!”

“Daniel.”

“Great party.”

“It’s a state dinner.”

“I love getting to come to these things.”

“Yeah. They’re real barn raisers.” CJ said dryly.

“You look fantastic.”

“Thank you.”

“Got a question.”

“Figures.”

“When are Josh and Donna going to make their big announcement?”

CJ paused for a moment before giving Danny her full attention. “What kind of announcement do you think they’re going to be making?”

“I saw them last night leaving an obstetrician’s office.” Danny smirked.

“What?”

“You heard me.”

She did. And her suspicions were now confirmed. She was relatively certain that Josh and Donna had never gotten that annulment, but she never asked for confirmation. She didn’t want the confirmation. She thought they made a nice couple. He was very considerate of her. And she takes such good care of him.

“Leave it alone, Danny.” CJ warned.

“Are you kidding me, CJ?” Danny laughed. “I don’t work for you, I work for the Washington Post. My editor is going fall out of his chair when I tell him the Deputy Chief of Staff and his assistant are having a baby. Josh is my friend and Donna’s a sweet girl, but this is big news, and I’m the one you want writing this story and you know it.”

“Off the record, the story’s not near as interesting as you think it is.” CJ said lowering her voice and moving them a little further away from people.

“Oh, do tell.”

“They’re married, Danny.” CJ confessed.

“They are not.”

“They are too.”

“Since when?”

“Election night. Off the record, they got drunk and got married. They came to me the next morning, I tore into Josh and told him to get it annulled, he said they were going to, they obviously changed their minds.”

“They’ve been married all this time?” Danny said grinning largely and CJ nodded. Danny threw back his head and shouted with laughter.

“So you can see how it’s not near as interesting. It’s just a regular married couple having a baby.”

“Except that it’s not at all.” Danny laughed.

“Danny, I don’t know what their plan is.” CJ sighed. “But don’t do that to them. Josh is a very private person, you know that. The poor guy’s just getting his life back after it was splashed over every major news network for weeks and weeks. And you’re right. Donna IS sweet, and you know what’s going to happen to her when you break that story. She’s going to be hounded, she’s going to be called a lot of nasty names and she doesn’t deserve it.”

“All right. All right.” Danny acquiesced. “You don’t need to get all mother tiger with me. If you promise me it’ll come to me when they’re going to break it, I’ll back off.”

“You’re a good man, Daniel.”

“But, CJ, how in the world do they expect to get by without anyone noticing? In a couple of months, you’re not going to be able to miss Donna.”

“I don’t know.” CJ sighed. “I haven’t actually talked to them about it yet.”

“Well, you know what you’re doing, I guess.” Danny said before walking away.

CJ sighed and scanned the room for the couple in question. She finally found them in a corner. It appeared like they were arguing. What else was new? She knew deep down that they had never gotten the annulment. Too many little things pointed in that direction; Donna’s wedding band around her neck for one; her utter devotion to Josh during his recovery for two. But CJ just kept telling herself that plausible deniability was the way to go.

She smiled as the idea of her two friends having a baby sunk in. They figured out a way to make it work and CJ was truly happy for them. She wasn’t anticipating the headache that was about to come if the press decided they didn’t like the idea or when Leo found out, but of all the people she knew, she thought Josh and Donna deserved to be happy the most. After the events of Rosslyn and everything that came after, they needed something good.

Whatever the disagreement was about looked like it was escalating and CJ watch as Josh tugged Donna out of the East Room. Donna appeared to be in quite a huff about whatever their issue was. CJ decided to follow them. She kept getting glimpses of them ahead of her in the hallways. She finally caught up to them in Josh’s office. His outer doors were closed, but the door adjoining CJ’s office was open.

“You’re being ridiculous.” Donna accused him.

“Not remotely.” he shot back. “I’m the boss here and I say go home.”

“Josh, it’s 9 o’clock.” Donna protested. “I’m not made of china.”

“The doctor said your blood pressure is high and that’s not good this early on. I can get by tonight on my own.”

“Are you going to do this for the next eight months?”

“Yes. Get used to it.”

“Josh!”

“Donna!” he countered. Always trust Josh and Donna to take their argument to a pre-teen level. “What is this? What are the tears for?”

“I don’t want to be home by myself.” CJ could hear Donna getting emotional now. It must have worked on Josh because his tone of voice softened significantly.

“I’ll be there as soon as I can.”

“Or you could take her and I’ll cover for you.” CJ said from her doorway announcing her presence.

Donna tried to jump back away from Josh, but he knew they were busted. And it really wasn’t like CJ didn’t really know anyway. She was just in denial.

“Yeah because the President wouldn’t flip out about that.” Josh muttered.

“I’ll tell Abbey.” CJ shrugged casually.

“That’ll do it.” Josh chuckled.

“Seriously, Josh, take Donna home. I’ll cover for you. If there’s anything I can’t handle, I’ve got Toby and Sam. I don’t know what I’m going to tell them...”

“Tell them Donna wasn’t feeling well and I took her home.”

“Which is exactly not true, by the way.” Donna jumped back in. “I feel just fine.”

“I fall back on my earlier argument of actually being the boss.”

“Josh! I’m wearing a Vera Wang.” Donna tried again.

“And you look absolutely stunning in it.” Josh smiled. “You’re still going home.”

Donna crossed her arms and rolled her eyes in a huff. But if she let herself acknowledge it, she loved how attentive he was being. It was nice to be taken care of for a change, and for Josh, he loved the role reversal. Donna was always so organized, on top of everything, and everything went easier with her in charge. For him, he was desperate to give back to her an iota of what she gave to him after he was hurt, a smidgeon of the tenderness that she showed caring for him. In his opinion, she deserved nothing less than his full attention. Lately, it seemed like he was getting roadblocks in that department.

“Hurry up, Josh.” CJ advised. “Before something happens and you can’t go.”

“Thanks, CJ.” Josh said, grabbing his backpack off his chair, then began pulling Donna out the door.

“And guys?” CJ said, and they stopped and turned around. She stepped forward and hugged them both. “Congratulations.”

“Thanks.” Donna smiled.

“You’re not going to take our heads off?” Josh asked warily accepting her hug.

“Tomorrow.” CJ laughed.

“Thanks, Ceej.” Josh said gratefully, then disappeared quickly with his wife as CJ watched him go.

There were many things they were going to have to talk about. She still had to tell them that Danny knew. Josh was so tunnel visioned that he never even asked how it was that CJ even knew about the baby. She made her way back to the East Room, beginning to form a strategy in her head as she went.

TBC


	14. Secret - Alternate Ending, The

Josh slid into bed and curled his body around his wife. One arm went around her shoulders and the other across her stomach. She smiled with her eyes closed and cuddled against him.

“Did you just get in?” she asked.

“Mmm-hmm.”

“How was the flight?”

“Long.”

“I hear we’re off to Manchester this week?”

“Bruno and his cronies.” Josh said.

“You don’t like the kick off event idea?”

“Sounds a little flashy.” he shrugged. “I don’t think it’s going to take anyone’s minds off the fact he has M.S.”

“Isn’t it tradition for a candidate to announce their run from home?”

“Yes. That would be the White House at the moment.”

“You’re not going to play nice with Bruno and the others, are you?”

“Why wouldn’t I?”

“CJ was worried you, Sam and Toby would freak out; that you’d think it was too early.”

“The list of things I’m freaking out about because of CJ is getting longer by the day.”

“Congress investigating is making them look blood thirsty; it’s making you guys look like the victims. I think that was a good idea.”

“You would.” he smirked. “You media types stick together. And most of us are the victims here.”

She turned around in his arms and opened her eyes.

“You look tired.” he whispered.

“Funny how that happens at 2 a.m. when I’m woken up.”

“Were you up late waiting for me?”

“I don’t like being here by myself.” she pouted. “Why are you taking so many trips without me?”

“I seriously don’t know. I could really use you on most of them, and some of them I didn’t need to be on at all. Sometimes I think Leo...”

“What?”

“Nothing.”

“Come on, what?”

“It’s just that sometimes I think Leo is purposefully sending me on these things as some kind of test. Like, he wants me to see that just because I’m going to be a father, doesn’t mean my job should come second or something.”

“Sometimes I think that’s what he’s doing, too.” Donna confessed sheepishly.

“I don’t think I like it.”

“You haven’t been forced to make a choice yet.”

“There isn’t a choice.”

“Josh...”

“Donna, there’s no choice.” Josh insisted. “Can I prioritize the two sides of the scale? Probably for most things, but when it comes down to it, my family is first. Leo can engage in all the espionage he wants, but in the end, the choice is mine.”

“And what happens when Leo tells you you serve at the pleasure of the President?”

“I’ll hand him my resignation and say, not anymore.”

“Josh!”

“What? Isn’t this what I’m supposed to say?”

“Don’t you want to discuss this? You told me this is what you’ve wanted to do your whole life!”

“And I’m doing it! But, Donna, if we don’t win reelection, this is all moot anyway.”

“You told me when we got married...”

“Things have changed since then.” he insisted. “That was totally on a whim. I knew I loved you and I wanted to try to make it work, but I also knew exactly what I wanted. I was so set in my life that I wanted everything new to fall into line with that. But, Donna, that was before I even knew what being married and having a wife actually meant, and now that I do, that comes first.”

“I don’t want you to ever regret it.”

“I won’t.”

“You say that now.”

“Donna, don’t pin me down to try to answer a question that’s got no answer. You’re asking me to anticipate the future, and I can’t do that. Three years ago, I thought the most important thing in my life was my career and I said so. Three years later, I see that it’s not. My life reprioritized itself since Rosslyn. If we win reelection, I’m going to sit Leo down and tell him what I’m willing to give. If he’s okay with it, fine; if not, I’ll move on. It’s not unheard of for senior staff to only give one term. In fact, it’s more normal than not.”

“Sorry.” she said softly, dropping her gaze. He hooked a finger under her chin and drew her face back up.

“What’s wrong?”

“I don’t know.” she shrugged. “I’m just more stressed than I normally am, I guess.”

“Isn’t that normal?”

“I guess.”

“You guess? You don’t know?”

“I haven’t asked my doctor.”

“Why?”

“It seemed like a silly question.”

“Donna, it’s not like you to A) not know the answer to a question of yours; and B) to not be interested in finding out the answer.”

“I’ll ask.” she sighed and cuddled down into his chest.

“Hey, Donna?”

“Yeah?”

“I know we originally talked about getting a bigger place when you graduated, but what about getting a bigger one now?”

“Really?” she asked looked back up at him wide eyed. “Both of our names on a lease...” She trailed off, but he shrugged in response to what she was suggesting.

“You’re the one that doesn’t want to hide anymore.”

“I just assumed that since all this M.S. stuff came out, it would be bad to have a hidden marriage come out during reelection.”

“Technically, it’s not hidden.” he replied. “We didn’t hide from the IRS. All of the doctors and hospital staff at GW that took care of me during my stay there knew you were my wife; the entire senior staff knows.”

“The White House Press Corps doesn’t.”

“Danny does.”

“I just thought we were going to wait until after the election.”

“I never said that.”

“Didn’t Leo?”

“I think that’s a gray area.”

“I think you’re going to be job hunting.” Donna said rolling her eyes. “Between that, and you’re my way or the highway ultimatum after the election, he’s going to think you’re more trouble than you’re worth.”

“Unfortunately for him, I’m worth all the trouble and he knows it.”

“Tower one, the ego’s coming in for a landing.”

“You’re hysterical.”

“I’ll be appearing here all week; please tip your waitresses.” He smiled and kissed her on the forehead. “We have to think things through now, Josh. It’s not just us.”

“Name one thing we didn’t think through.”

“Um...our marriage.”

“Since then.” he said with an eye roll.

“That’s pretty big one!”

“You think everything through.”

“I suppose, but....”

“But, what?”

“I’m forgetting things.”

“What do you mean?”

“I haven’t asked my doctor about higher levels of stress during pregnancy because I keep forgetting, Josh.”

“That doesn’t sound like you.” he frowned.

“I know! I’m getting freaked out by it.”

“You think there’s some kind of problem?”

“I don’t know.”

He pulled her closer to him and held her tighter. There didn’t seem to be anything wrong, but it was odd for Donna to forget things. He could tell her to do six different things at work and she’d remember every single one, without ever writing it down. It was one of the things he found most creepy about her.

What she said nagged him all night, or what was left of it anyway. He’d hardly slept the rest of the few hours he was home and he had himself wound up pretty good by morning. It didn’t help that Donna gave him decaf coffee. She said he was already too hyper that morning to warrant any further recharges.

When they got to the White House, Josh gave Donna the slip as she turned on her computer to bring up his schedule and he made a beeline for the East Wing. Thankfully, Abbey was already in.

“Dr. Bartlet, I need to talk to you.” he announced walking into her office without preamble. He took no note of the staff gathered there. Lily Mays arched an annoyed brow at him, but Abbey seemed amused.

“Good morning to you, too, Josh.” Abbey smirked. “I’m fine. I got plenty of rest last night after we landed. You? No, it doesn’t look like it.”

“Something’s wrong with Donna.” Josh continued, ignoring her sarcasm.

Abbey sighed indulgently and motioned to her staff to leave her with Josh in private.

“Joshua, did you ever hear of an appointment?” Abbey chided.

“I’m the Deputy Chief of Staff.”

“I share a bed with someone a little higher up in the pecking order.” Abbey replied.

“Ma’am.” Josh cringed pressing his palms to his eyes. “Do you have to talk like that?”

“I don’t see a reporter.” Abbey said, gesturing around her. At his flabbergasted expression, she decided to lighten up on him. “What’s the matter with Donna?”

“She forgets things.”

“Like what?”

“Just random stuff; stuff she’s normally good at remembering. I’ll tell her to do something, and if she doesn’t write it down, she’ll forget.”

“Are you sure she’s not practicing her wifely selective hearing?” Abbey smiled.

“Yes, I’m sure.” Josh said through clenched teeth.

“Relax, Josh.” Abbey smiled. “I’m just having fun. It’s not often I get to see you think of someone other than yourself. Donna’s fine. Her razor sharp memory will come back after the baby’s born.”

“What?”

“The baby is sucking up oxygen in Donna’s body; less goes to her brain.”

“Ma’am, that sounds serious!”

“It’s not, Josh.” Abbey was outright laughing at him now. “A woman’s body is really quite fascinating when it’s impregnated. It does all sorts of things we’d think would be dangerous, but aren’t.” Josh looked a little green. “But, it’s really quite normal, Josh. It’s right up there with mood swings and cravings.”

“You promise?” he looked at her skeptically.

“Yes, Josh. I promise.”

“Mood swings she’s had; cravings not so much.”

“Let me give you a little advice here, Josh.” Abbey said. “When a woman has cravings of something during pregnancy, it usually means her body is low on whatever vitamin or supplement is in that food, like iron or calcium or potassium. They may seem off the wall, but take them seriously.”

“I will, ma’am.”

“Men roll their eyes, but they’ve got no idea how overpowering hormones can be. When I was pregnant and ‘hormonal’ I knew I was being unreasonable, but couldn’t control it. It can give a woman a feeling of helplessness, especially when she doesn’t think she’s got control over her own mind.”

“Well, I can relate to that.” he said quietly.

“You’ve always been so attentive towards her. Now would be a bad time to stop that.”

TBC


	15. Secret - Alternate Ending, The

“Donna, what the hell are you doing?”

“Going to the store.”

“What?”

“We have no salsa.”

“It’s 2 o’clock in the morning.”

“And I want salsa, and we don’t have any, so I’m going to get some.”

“You’re not going out now. It’s 2 a.m. That’s ridiculous.”

“Joshua, I want salsa. We don’t have any. Do you see another solution here?”

“You’re being unreasonable.”

“Oh, unreasonable, huh? I’m the one that gets woken up out of a sound sleeping wanting salsa for YOUR child, and I’m being unreasonable?”

“You’re not even making sense.”

Donna grabbed her keys and wallet from the coffee table and began to stride purposefully for the door.

“Donna, stop!” Josh ordered. Donna was so surprised by his tone she turned around to face him. “You are NOT going traipsing around Washington D.C. at 2 a.m. on a salsa scavenger hunt. I am putting my foot down, and if I have to use force to keep you here, I will.”

“I. Need. Salsa.” Donna countered. “What do you propose we do about it?” She crossed her arms over her chest and arched a brow at him.

“I’m going to regret this because it’s setting a precedent, but I’ll go get you salsa.”

“You’re going to get dressed and go buy me salsa at 2 a.m.?” Donna asked, following him to the bedroom where he was pulling a t-shirt over his head.

“Spicy or mild?”

“Mild.”

“Chunky or garden variety?”

“Chunky.”

“El Paso or Toastitos?”

“El Paso.”

“Are chips required here?”

“Yes, and shredded cheddar cheese.”

“Did I miss an impending Super Bowl party?”

“Joshua.” she growled.

“I’m going.” he said quickly. He pecked her on the cheek and disappeared out of the apartment.

Donna sat down on the couch and looked at the door Josh just left through. She knew it was ridiculous, but she couldn’t help it. She was craving salsa and she really wanted it. That was that.

This whole thing made her nuts. She felt out of control of her body and sometimes her even her mind. Of course, she knew he’d never let her go out at 2 o’clock in the morning on a salsa hunt, but she couldn’t give up. She got it in her head, and it wouldn’t leave. No matter how much reading she had done on pregnancy and the different stages and the things she should feel, she didn’t feel ready for any of it.

When Josh returned, he found Donna in a puddle of tears on the couch.

“What’s the matter?”

Donna shrugged and kept crying.

“Do you feel okay?”

“Yes.” she squeaked.

“Okay then.” he said and moved to the kitchen, calling back to Donna. “Want me to open this all up for you?”

“How can you not care about what’s wrong with me?”

“I do care about what’s wrong with you.”

“Why are you not concerned right now?”

“Donna, you said you were feeling okay, so I figured this was hormones.”

“It’s a breakdown, Josh! It’s a mental breakdown!”

“Or that, too.”

“JOSH!!”

He returned to the living room with the contents of her early morning snack and put the tray down on the coffee table before settling down next to his hysterical wife.

“I don’t know what’s the matter.” she sobbed.

“I think it’s hormones, Donna.” he said, pulling her head to his shoulder.

“You can’t just chalk everything up to hormones, Josh.”

“I’m not, but you’re having a nutty and you’re not typically a nutty having person, you said you feel okay, so what else could it be?”

“I’m not ready to be a mom.”

“You’re already a mom, Donna, and you’ve got seven months to go before the baby comes. You’re going to be an incredible mother.”

“You HAVE to say that or I’ll freak out.”

“I’m saying that because it’s a lock, Donnatella. Nobody on this planet should be a mother more than you. You’ve got so much love to give. I know you’re scared, I’m scared, too. But we have each other and we’ll work together and figure it out. You can’t have a plan for everything, Donna. Sometimes, you just have to deal with it as you go and improvise with what’s handed to you.”

She sniffed as her crying stopped and she listened to what he was saying. “Since when are you so prophetic?”

“I don’t know. It kind of freaks me out.”

She chuckled against his shoulder, then raised her head and kissed him on the cheek.

“I feel so out of control.” she whispered.

“You are, Donna. Mother Nature’s in the driver’s seat here. I’m not all that calm about it myself, but there’s thousands of years of evolution at work here.”

“Oh come on, you have a back up plan of some kind.”

“Hell yeah, I have a back up plan! It’s called the Surgeon General!”

“Josh!” Donna laughed, wiping the rest of the tears from her eyes.

“Come on, Donna. You know I’m going to do everything I can to make sure everything’s safe for you and the baby. This is where my obsessive compulsive disorder comes in handy.”

“Is that what you call it?”

“Here’s my girl. I missed you.”

“You know,” she said leaning forward and delving into the snack before her. “We can put these in the oven and make, like, hot nachos.”

“At 2:30 in the morning? One of us is going to be waking up extremely unhappy in a few hours and it’s probably not going to be me.”

“If I wake up unhappy, you’re waking up unhappy.” Donna vowed. “You want to know what you can do through all this? It’s suffer with me.”

“Okay.”

“In silence.”

“Well, that’s not likely to happen.”

TBC


	16. Secret - Alternate Ending, The

CJ, Toby and Sam continued to work late into the night. Josh gave up when his wife stretched out on the couch in the living room of the Bed and Breakfast in Manchester they were at. The two of them were now sound asleep and tangled up together.

It was a little surreal seeing them like that, even though the secret was out among the senior staff and President. Nobody seemed to want to talk about what was going to happen in a few very short months when it was impossible to hide Donna’s pregnancy. Josh wanted to send out baby announcements to the press corps. While CJ found that amusing in a pod life, she didn’t find it too appealing in reality.

There was a knock on the front door and the three exchanged alarmed looks. They had taken over the Bed and Breakfast. In fact, only the five of them were even staying at this one. The rest of the staff was at a hotel and Leo was at the farm.

“CJ, are you ready?” Danny called through the front door.

“Oh God, I forgot about Danny.” CJ said. She hopped up and ran to the door, squeezing herself through and out onto the porch. “Hi, Danny!” she greeted like nothing was up, but she kept her body wedged between him and the door.

“What’s going on?”

“Nothing.” she said quickly. “What’s up?”

“You wanted me to meet you guys over here tonight to go over the event stuff for tomorrow?” Danny reminded. “Ring a bell?”

“Oh, sure.” CJ nodded. “I’ll just get Sam and Toby and have them come out here.”

“Out here?” Danny frowned. “CJ it’s all buggy and humid out. Can’t we just do it inside?”

“No, it’s New England! It’s charming.”

“What is the matter with you?”

“Nothing.”

“Are Toby and Sam in there?”

“Yes.”

“Is the President running around naked in there?”

“What!? Of course not.”

“Launch codes on the walls?”

“No.”

“Then let’s go inside, I’m getting eaten alive.”

He pushed past her and through the front door.

When they got back into the living room, Sam and Toby were both standing and Josh was covered neck to head with a blanket, which was completely covering Donna.

“Why didn’t you just say Josh was asleep?” Danny said in a hushed voice walking over to the couch.

“Well, I don’t know...” CJ began.

Danny furrowed his brow when he saw how lumpy Josh was and pulled back the top of the blanket.

“And with Donna.” Danny finished.

“Listen, Danny...” Sam started.

“This isn’t news to me.” Danny said waving at Josh and Donna.

“Yeah, but there’s knowing something and then there’s something in your face.” Sam replied.

Donna’s eyes opened and a look of alarm immediately crossed her face. She clutched Josh’s chest which immediately woke him up.

“What’s going on?” he asked.

“Oh God, I’m going to be sick.” she said quickly. She pushed herself off the couch, past Danny and out of the room.

“Danny.” Josh greeted from the couch.

“Josh.” Danny replied with a nod. Josh pushed himself off the couch and went in search of his wife.

“They’re cute.” Danny grinned. “When do I get to write about them?”

“Sooner than anticipated it looks like.” Toby said blowing out a breath.

“Donnatella, what do you think is going to happen when you eat Cheese Whiz on an onion bagel?” They heard Josh’s voice coming from the direction of the bathroom.

“Oh, that’s gross.” Sam winced as Josh returned to the living room scratching the back of his head.

“She all right?” Danny asked him.

“Yeah.” he nodded.

“You’re so....” CJ smiled at Josh. “....nice to her!”

“Of course I’m nice to her!” Josh said indignantly. “She’s my....” He stopped and looked over at Danny.

“Danny knows.” CJ sighed. “I forgot to tell you that he confronted me about it at the State Dinner a few weeks ago.”

“Really?” Josh asked regarding Danny closely and dropping his hands to his hips. “What do you think of it?”

“I think it’s funny watching someone take away the pitbull’s bite.” Danny smirked.

“That’s because you know me.” Josh countered. “What do you think about the Deputy Chief of Staff being married to his assistant allegedly in secret?”

“Allegedly?” Sam asked. “You didn’t make any announcements.”

“I didn’t volunteer the information, no.” Josh said. “But I also didn’t lie. Toby asked, I told him the truth. Right, Toby?”

“True.” Toby nodded.

“Boy are YOU the right one to run this campaign.” Danny replied.

“What do you think of it, Danny?” Josh asked again. “When you first figured it out, what kind of story did you want write?”

“Did I want to string you up by your toes, you mean? No.” Danny replied. “But that doesn’t mean others won’t.”

“But you wanted to write about it?” Josh concluded.

“Of course I want to write about it!” Danny laughed. “You’ve been married to your assistant right under everybody’s noses! Watching you at work, I would have no clue all this was going on.”

“Well, that was the point originally.” Josh sighed.

“That’s because he’s not like....this.” CJ said waving her hands at him.

“Like what?” he asked her.

“All husbandly.”

“Husbandly?”

“Yeah. You don’t really see this side of you there at all. And she doesn’t get all wifely.”

“Wifely.”

“Yeah.”

“Maybe you should” Danny shrugged. “Maybe you start doing that a little bit, sort of softening the ground a bit.”

“I was actually a while ago.” Josh said running a hand down his face.

“What happened?”

“I got shot; it got derailed.”

“That would have been the perfect opportunity to get it out there.” Danny said.

“Nobody knew.” CJ said.

“Abbey did.” Josh said. “Abbey confronted Donna about it and not long after that, Toby confronted me about it, and neither of us lied.”

“You just didn’t disclose it.” Sam jumped in.

“I don’t HAVE to disclose it!”Josh argued. “I’m not an elected representative. And the government has always known. Donna and I file joint taxes every year. Donna was hired by Leo and not me, AND Leo has known from the outset.”

“Why doesn’t she just change jobs?” Danny suggested.

“She’s going to.” Josh sighed. “When she’s done with school, she won’t be working with me anymore.”

“Well, I’m a reporter, a press corps reporter nonetheless, one of many who are going to look pretty stupid when it comes out that we didn’t pick up on it, so take my advice for what it is, but I say, why not just let it ride?”

“What?” Toby asked.

“You mean just let it go and never say anything?” CJ asked incredulously. “How’s that going to work? Donna’s going to start to show soon.”

“Yeah, you guys have been so worried about what would happen to Donna when it came out that you’ve completely forgotten all about her.” Danny replied.

“What do you mean?” Josh asked perking up a bit.

“Listen, Donna’s sweet as pie, but who cares if she’s married? Donna, you’re having a baby? Yeah. Who’s the father? My husband, you idiot. I didn’t know you were married. Yeah, I am. So, Donna’s married. Big deal, most of the White House staff is.”

“And what happens when her due date comes closer and Josh starts to unspool?” Sam asked.

“Thanks a lot.” Josh muttered.

“Everyone there knows how much he relies on her. Everybody sees their close.” Danny scoffed. “They’ll just assume it’s because he’s going to have to hire a new assistant. If he has to anyway, he might as well do it when she goes on maternity leave.”

“And when people start seeing me regularly with my kid, that just so happens to be Donna’s kid...” Josh lead.

“She won’t work there anymore, you can do what you want.” Danny said. “You’re putting more thought into this than you really need to. I mean, you’ve gotten this far, Josh, on simplicity, why stop now?”

“Stop what?” Donna asked coming back into the room.

“Why don’t you go up and go to bed?” Josh suggested jumping to his feet.

Donna glanced across the room at Danny. Nobody seemed alarmed that he was standing there, and the truth was, she was just tired of hiding it.

She looked over at Josh and shrugged. “Kay. You coming?”

“In a bit.” he smiled.

“Night, everyone.” she said walking up the stairs. Everyone replied their goodnights, and Josh watched her until she was out of sight.

“Josh, do you think Donna would be on board with a plan like that?” Toby asked.

“Donna’s ready to take a billboard out.” Josh replied.

Sam crossed his arms on his chest and studied Danny closely. “Does the Washington Post forget it’s got this information?”

“The Washington Post doesn’t have any information.” Danny replied.

“But their senior White House correspondent does.” Sam retorted.

“CJ’s right.” Danny shrugged. “It’s gossip, but it’s really not news. I wouldn’t have suggested it, if I was just going to turn around and blow the cover. It’s fun sharing a secret with the senior staff.”

TBC


	17. Secret - Alternate Ending, The

“Donna, could you get me --” Josh came breezing out of his office and stopped in his tracks at what he saw before him. His wife was in tears at her desk and Ginger was saying something to her.

“It’s just, I can only imagine how hard it is.” Ginger was saying. “And if there’s anything we can do to help you out, anything at all, just let us know.”

“What’s going on?” Josh asked approaching Donna’s cubicle.

“Hi, Josh.” Ginger smiled, then looked back at Donna. “I mean it, Donna, anything at all.”

Donna managed a jerky nod before Ginger said goodbye and thankfully finally left her desk.

“What’s the matter?” Josh asked her.

“Oh, nothing.” Donna said sarcastically wiping the tears from her face. “Ginger, Bonny, Carol, Cathy, and allegedly Margaret, are just under the same impression that I’m sure everyone around here is...that I’m a tramp.”

“I’m sorry?” Josh asked hiking his eyebrows up. “What exactly did she say?”

“Just that she knew it must be hard on me right now, working so much, going to school, and being pregnant and they knew I hadn’t been seeing anyone, so if there was ever anything I needed, they were all here for me.” Donna spit out harshly at him. “Wasn’t that nice of them?”

She burst into tears again, and Josh didn’t care if they were in the bullpen. He kissed her on the forehead and wrapped his arms around her, causing several looks of surprise from surrounding staffers, but after one Republican glare from him, they scurried away.

“It’s just because they don’t know.” Josh said softly. “It’s nice that they care so much. It’s not good for you to get this upset.”

“Nice that they care so much?” Donna hissed pulling away. “Josh! They think I had a one night stand and got knocked up and the guy bailed on me. They think I’m a hussy, Josh. That is what people around here think. And who can blame them? Who’s dissuaded them of that notion? I don’t see anybody around here rushing to defend me.”

It hurt Josh to see how upset she was getting over all this and it concerned him. She shouldn’t have to be worrying about things like this now. She should be allowed to be happy she was having a baby with the husband she adored, but she was being denied that. She didn’t seem to happy about anything anymore.

“Donna, I’m outing us to everyone at the convention.” He announced.

“What?” she asked, swiping at her eyes again.

“You heard me. We’re going to share a room, despite who you’re assigned to stay with. And we’re going to do what CJ said and act married, actually in front of staffers. And that’s that.”

“But you were worried about what people would say about me.”

“Well, they’re saying it anyway, Donna. So, let’s just clear your name. I don’t want to hear that stuff said about you either.”

“Really?” she smiled. “You’re serious?”

“Do I look serious?”

“Very.”

“Then it’s safe to assume I am.”

“Okay.” she continued to smile, then glanced at the clocks on the wall. “Crap. I’m late for my doctor’s appointment.” She grabbed her tote bag and stopped before him. “Thank you, Josh.” she said, before squeezing his hand quickly and running out of the bullpen.

“What was that about?” Margaret asked walking up to him and handing him a file from Leo.

“Well, Ginger was just kind enough to have a little chat with Donna, woman to woman, friend to friend, in her time of need.” Josh said dryly.

“I thought I put an end to that when they came to talk to me about it.” Margaret sighed.

“They came to talk to you about it?” Josh asked taking the file and walking into his office, Margaret followed.

“Yeah. They said they felt like they should talk to her because they knew her situation and that she wasn’t seeing anyone, yaddi, yaddi, yadda, and I asked them what made them think she wasn’t seeing anyone and didn’t have the support of this guy, and they said she couldn’t possibly be seeing anyone between school and you working her to the bone, she didn’t have time to date, and I said--”

“Stop the madness, Margaret, I get it.” Josh said, cutting her off. “Go get them for me.”

“What?”

“Go get Ginger, Carol, Bonny, and Cathy, please, and bring them back here.” Josh repeated. “I’m going to have a chat of my own with them.”

“What are you going to say?” Margaret asked hesitantly. This had disaster written all over it.

“I’ll wing it.”

“That’s a dumb move on your part.”

“Would you just go get them, please? You can stay and supervise.”

“I’ll stay and bear witness to the train wreck.” Margaret muttered leaving his office.

Josh sat down in his chair, blew out a breath and ran a hand down his face. He had no idea what he was going to say to the assistants when Margaret brought them back, but he couldn’t stand to see Donna that upset. Sometimes, it was unavoidable, but this wasn’t one of those times. The letting it ride plan obviously wasn’t going to work.

He stood up and walked around his desk when Margaret returned with Ginger, Bonny, Cathy and Carol. She closed the door and then came and stood next to him. He appreciated the show of solidarity.

Josh looked at them all, who were looking at him with curiosity to be sure. He found himself at a loss of words. How could he explain this? He took a breath and dove on in.

“Okay, here’s the thing. Donna’s not a hussy. She and I are married. That’s why she doesn’t date. We got married on election night, we’ve been married this whole time. That’s why she spent so much time with me when I was recovering. I am very much a part of this pregnancy and very concerned for her well being right now. Yes, the President, Leo and the rest of the senior staff know.”

Margaret groaned and dropped her head to her hand. The rest of the women stared at Josh with their jaws dropped in silence. Carol recovered first.

“Margaret, did you know?”

“Yeah, I’ve known as long as Leo has, which is pretty much right after the election.” Margaret fessed up.

“And you didn’t tell anyone?” Ginger asked incredulously.

“Ginger, I know I have a reputation for gossiping, and I’ll certainly concede it’s well founded, however, the things I know that you don’t would curl your hair.” Margaret stated matter of factly.

“I guess that explains why you freaked over me setting her up with my friend.” Carol muttered.

“Carol, you were suggesting an unhealthy relationship. I would have had that same reaction over any of you getting involved like that. Casual sex relationships are what gets you in the position you all thought Donna was in.” Josh shot back and Carol looked properly chastised.

“We didn’t think anything bad about her, Josh.” Bonny defended.

“Maybe not, but you didn’t know the truth either.” Josh retorted.

“Because nobody bothered to tell it to us.” Cathy snapped, and all eyes fell surprised on Cathy. Cathy looked defiant and she looked annoyed at clearly being left out of something major when it wasn’t a matter of national security.

“Cathy...” Josh began, but Margaret held up her hand to him and cut him off.

“What exactly is it you feel you’re entitled to know, Cathy?” Margaret demanded. “You’re upset because you weren’t personally invited into the loop? Too bad, it’s the White House. What do you think is happening now? People are entitled to personal lives and they’re entitled to their privacy. Josh may be a public figure, but he’s not an elected official and he doesn’t have to explain himself to you.”

“Margaret...” Josh started. He wanted to jump in and deflect some of this, but apparently Margaret wasn’t having any of it.

“Shut up, Josh.” Margaret ordered. “No, Cathy. You weren’t the first one to hear the news and you’re going to have to live with that, but you are among the first. Now, you can be adult and acknowledge that you work in the White House and sometimes there are reasons for things, even things like this, or you can show Leo and the President that you’re not a team player.”

Cathy looked like she had a lot to say on the matter, but wisely kept her mouth shut. Josh hoped she had the good sense to keep it that way, though he also thought Margaret was a little harsh.

“Anybody else have a problem?” Margaret demanded. Bonny and Carol remained silent and Ginger actually shook her head. It was very rare that anyone got to see this side of Margaret and it was downright scary. Next to Mrs. Landingham, Margaret had the most clout among their job level and crossing her was unwise. “Good. Now, try and remember Donna here. Her marriage and her family is getting caught up in politics and it’s very upsetting and stressful to her. This wasn’t her idea and she’s not being given a choice. So, try to see it from her point of view and be supportive.”

And just like that, the tide had turned. Four new angry sets of eyes turned to Josh and accused him of inflicting unrest on a member of the sisterhood.

“I’m not completely in the wrong here!” Josh yelped throwing up his hands.

“It’s possible some of that is true.” Margaret conceded.

“AND I just told her I’m outing us at the convention.” Josh announced. “I don’t want to see her go through this. You guys don’t live with her, you don’t know how all this is affecting her. My sweet, perky, fun wife is getting very melancholy and it sucks.”

“You’re outing yourselves at the convention?” Margaret asked. “Did you clear that with Leo?”

“No, I’m just doing it, so you have to shut up about it Margaret.” Josh said sternly. “It’s payback time.”

“Payback for what?” Margaret asked. Josh just glared at Margaret, and she knew it was payback for burning Donna’s diary.

“Look, it may not be a popular opinion around here and I’m sure it’s going to cause some trouble for me, but she’s more important to me and so is her health and the baby’s health. If she’s stressed out, she doesn’t sleep, she doesn’t eat, her blood pressure goes up. I have control over all of that and I’m not going to let that happen.”

“We’re with you, Josh.” Ginger nodded. “I’ll talk to her when she gets back. It might help her to know she’s got people to talk to about all this.”

“Thanks, Ginger.” Josh smiled.

Margaret ushered the assistants out of the office and turned to give Josh one last look before closing the door behind her. Josh dropped back into his chair and looked at the closed door. Well, he had put his intentions out there, in front of the Sisterhood no less, so it was time to make good on his promises.

TBC


	18. Secret - Alternate Ending, The

Josh paced the corridor of Air Force One like a tiger. Shortly after the flight to California had taken off, Donna felt sick. Josh, being Josh, had immediately asked for the First Lady, who along with the Flight Surgeon took Donna to the medical cabin, where Josh and the rest of the senior staff were now waiting.

“I’m sure she’ll be fine, Josh.” CJ tried to placate him.

“Uh-huh.” Josh replied.

“She’s in there with the First Lady and the Flight Surgeon.” Toby reminded. “She’s got two doctors in there with her, two GOOD doctors.”

“Yup.” Josh said.

“Not to mention, Air Force One has a fully loaded operating room, between the two of them, they can handle anything.” Sam said off-handedly.

Josh’s head snapped up at Sam and CJ rolled her eyes.

“Too much?” Sam asked winced.

“Picked me right up there, Sam!” Josh yelped.

CJ smacked Sam in the back of the head. “Well done, Spanky. There’ll be no talking him down now.”

“She didn’t look good this morning.” Josh informed his friends. “I thought about telling her to stay behind but one, she’d kick my ass if she missed the convention; and two, she’s woken up a ton of mornings looking like that and has been okay.”

“She DOES have two very good doctors in there with her, Josh and they CAN handle anything on the plane.” CJ said. “Sam, though clearly an idiot in his bluntness, is right.”

“I’m not sure if I’m offended.” Sam said.

“I don’t care if you’re offended.” CJ replied. “I care about calming Josh down right now.”

“Well, that’s not nice, CJ.” Sam said sadly.

“Well, sometimes I’m not nice, Sam.” CJ countered.

Josh rolled his eyes at his bickering friends and began to pace again as Katie Witt happened upon them. CJ stood up and moved over by Josh.

“Hey, Katie. What can I do for you?” CJ ask casually.

“I’m just walking the plane. Getting the blood flowing.” Katie smiled.

“Good idea, Katie.” Toby said rising. “I could use that myself. I’m blocked.” He dropped a pad down onto the cushy chair he was sitting on and moving over to Katie in an invitation to walk with him.

Katie took a step towards Toby, but stopped when she noticed Josh’s demeanor. “Are you all right, Josh?” She looked over her shoulder and saw they were standing outside the medical cabin. CJ was about to make up a reason for Josh’s apparent nervousness, but a split second before her, Josh realized his opening.

“My wife’s sick; I’m worried about my wife.” he blurted. CJ’s eyes widened in surprised, Sam looked a little thrown, but Toby remained passive.

“Oh, I didn’t know you were married.” Katie said.

“Oh yeah.” Josh nodded. “Three years now.”

“Josh.” CJ smiled, but her voice held warning.

“She’s 26 weeks pregnant and she wasn’t feeling good after take off, so she’s in there with Dr. Bartlet now.” Josh continued on.

“Well, that certainly explains why you seem so frantic and worried.” Katie noted. “Wait a minute. She works for the President?”

The door popped open before Josh could answer and the First Lady appeared. “Josh, Donna’s having a cow without you, could you come back in?”

Josh immediately slipped into the cabin, leaving the others to handle Katie. He moved to Donna’s side, who was quietly crying.

“Are you all right?” he demanded softly, picking up her hand and stroking her hair where she was lying on a cot. She nodded, and he looked up to Abbey. “Has she been this upset this whole time?”

“Yes.” Abbey said with a sigh. “Apparently, she’s just as attached to you as you are to her.”

“Well, why didn’t you have me come back in?” Josh tried to keep his voice calm, but some annoyance at the First Lady came through anyway, which she chose to ignore.

“As you can see, Joshua, there’s not a lot of room in here. The primary players in this situation are the doctors and the patient. We needed some room.” Abbey said carefully.

“So, what’s going on?” Josh asked calming down marginally.

“Her blood pressure’s up again.” Abbey stated. “I’m unhappy about that.”

“Again?” Josh asked turning to Donna.

“I didn’t know.” she whispered.

“High blood pressure during pregnancy is serious.” Abbey began.

“It went down.” Josh defended.

“I know that. But, it’s back up.” Abbey replied. “We did an ultrasound, and everything looks okay with the baby.” Abbey smiled slightly as she watched Josh and Donna visibly relax. “I’d like to bring an obstetrician on board when we land to confirm that. Though Dr. Wilson and myself are fully capable of reading ultrasounds, we’re not obstetricians and I’d feel better having one confirm my findings.”

“Okay.” Josh nodded jerkily.

“This brings me to doctor’s orders.” Abbey said and looked sternly at Donna. “You, Donnatella Lyman, are ordered to two weeks of bed rest.”

“Two weeks!?” Donna yelped.

“No problem.” Josh replied.

“Josh!”

“Two weeks.” he said firmly and glared at her.

“How? The convention is four days long, I’ve got class, work --”

“Don’t go there, Donnatella.” he replied. “I’ll get a temp at work. I’ll call your professors, explain the situation and get everything they’re going to cover during that time so you don’t fall behind.”

“What about the convention?”

“Well, unfortunately, you can’t stay on the plane that whole time where I can ensure that you stay put.” Abbey said. “So, arrangements will be made with the hotel for you and Josh to have a room on our floor.”

“Ma’am!” Donna protested.

“We’ll make sure you’re upgraded to more comfortable accommodations.”

“Bed rest at a hotel?” Donna pouted.

“Donna, we’re the nominee.” Josh replied. “I’m not going to be near as busy as I was last time. I’ll do everything I absolutely can from our room.”

“This sucks.” Donna pouted.

“It does, Donna.” Abbey conceded warmly. “But, I’m concerned for you and the baby. We really shouldn’t play around.”

“I know.” Donna conceded. “I’m just not used to being immobile and not doing anything.”

“I’ll give you pointers.” Josh smiled.

“You were insufferable.”

“Well, now you can get me back.”

“I will.” she vowed.

“I’m going to put a call in to your obstetrician back home and get them up to speed. They’ll want to follow up when we get back. I suspect that’s going to be it for you though, Donna.” Abbey said. “You’ll more than likely be written out of work and attending school. Though Georgetown has been extremely accommodating of you in the past, I’m sure they’ll work with you this close to the end of the semster.”

“It’s that serious?” Josh asked quietly.

“Yes.”

“What’s the worst case scenario?”

“The worse case scenario in the hands of Josh Lyman?” Abby laughed. “What am I, stupid?”

“Well, what are we talking about here?”

“Hypertension is the most common complication during pregnancy. It can lead to pre-clampsia, which would put Donna on bedrest the rest of the pregnancy term. If left untreated, it could cause strokes, heart attacks, kidney damage, fetus mortality...”

“Okay.” Josh said holding up his hand and dropping his head. “I get it.”

“Aren’t you glad you asked?” Abbey replied. “It’s also relatively normal. And if you follow your doctor’s instructions to the letter, everything will more than likely be fine. This will also include a different diet, though Donna eats pretty well.”

“We’ll do whatever we have to.” Josh nodded.

“I’m going to update the President. Thank you, Dr. Wilson.” Abbey smiled and the two doctors left the cabin.

Once they were gone, Donna went to pieces. “I’m so sorry, Josh.”

“For what?”

“I thought I was taking care of myself.”

“You were. You ARE. You just need more rest, I guess.”

“I’m so worried.”

“Don’t be.” he said softly. “You just concentrate on staying healthy and doing everything the doctors say. I’ll do all the worrying.”

“Kay.” she smiled.

“I’m going to poke my head out and tell the others everything’s mostly okay and I’ll be right back in. I’ll be just outside the door.”

She nodded, and after a soft kiss to her forehead, Josh walked back out into the corridor.

“Abbey filled us in.” Sam said when they saw Josh reemerge.

“How’s Donna feeling?” CJ asked.

“She’s pretty upset, but I think she’s feeling okay.” Josh replied.

“I couldn’t think up a good enough lie to tell Katie.” CJ said.

“I didn’t want Katie to have a lie.” Josh said.

“Well, Danny’s going to kick your ass. You promised the exclusive to him.” CJ warned. “To say nothing of what I still might do to you.”

“Danny’s got the exclusive already.” Josh countered. “I talked to him last night.”

“Without prior approval of what you were going to say?” CJ demanded. “What the hell is the matter with you?”

“Do you know what people think of Donna right now?” Josh hissed in return. “As far as everyone is concerned, she’s pregnant and not married AND not seeing anyone. I’m not having that anymore. Letting it ride isn’t going to cut it. I’m just going to have to deal with the heat that comes. I’m willing to stake my salary that all this stress over this is what’s got her blood pressure up. I can do something about that. We’re not talking about my image anymore, we’re talking about the well-being of my wife and child and I’m not compromising that for my reputation. I saw what Danny wrote. It’s good. I doubt Katie’s is going to be bad either.”

“It’s not.” CJ sighed. “She thinks it’s adorable, and she’s not planning on writing anything. She said she doesn’t do human interest pieces, but after the baby’s born, they’ll probably run something in the Lifestyle section, which means, you’ll probably be in the clear.”

“We’ll see.” Josh said under his breath and pushing back inside Donna’s cabin.

TBC


	19. Secret - Alternate Ending, The

“I miss my cats.”

“I don’t.”

“Well, I do. They make me feel better when I’m sick.”

“I thought you weren’t sick.”

“I’m not. But if I have to lay around and act it, I might as well have my cats around me.”

Josh snapped his cell phone shut and looked over to where Donna lay on the bed, clutching a pillow to her chest and pouting. Coverage of the convention was playing on the television.

“I don’t make you feel better when you’re sick?”

“I’m not sick.”

“Donna, I’m wounded. You don’t find comfort in my presence?”

“You’re working. You’re not comforting me.”

“I’m in the room with you, aren’t I? I thought the deal was if you had to suffer, so did I.”

“You’re not suffering.”

“What am I doing?”

“Working.”

“Donna, I didn’t order you to bedrest.”

“You didn’t fight her.”

“You wanted me to wrestle with the First Lady?” Josh asked hiking his eyebrows up in surprise.

“You could have at least made it look like you were going to fight her!” Donna unreasonably replied.

“Donnatella, you’re carrying my child and your blood pressure is too high. You know how I feel about things like this. You know how freaked out I get when someone I know is in danger or sick, and so you should have known that I’m going to do whatever your doctors say to do.”

“Technically, Dr. Bartlet is not my doctor.” Donna reasoned.

“She is unofficially everybody’s doctor, and it doesn’t matter anyway because she’s calling your doctor, who’s going to say the same thing.”

Donna huffed and rolled to her side. Josh sighed and looked at her. Being intimately familiar with bed rest, he felt her pain. But Dr. Bartlet terrified him earlier. If this was the way it had to be, then that’s way it WOULD be, plain and simple.

“What do you think Danny’s going to say?” she asked softly, changing the subject.

“I already saw what he’s going to say.” Josh said moving to the bed and stretching out next to her.

“Was it bad?”

“No.”

“What was it?”

“Sort of like a baby announcement turned process story.” Josh said. “I’m not as concerned as I was because we have the White House’s support.”

She rolled around to face him, and his arm snaked around and began rubbing her back. “It’s kinda weird, don’t you think? We did all that worrying and Leo knew all along. Why would he do that?”

“I have no idea.” Josh shrugged. “Do you care? We work together. We don’t have to hide anymore. It’s what you wanted.”

“They didn’t want you to go ahead and release it to the press. Leo, in fact, was adamantly against it until after the election.”

“Oops.”

“JOSH!?”

“Calm down.” he ordered. “Leo’s going to be pissed, but I’m not going to get fired over it. I can handle Leo being pissed, you upset and stressed out, I cannot handle.”

“We’ll be fine, Josh.” she smiled and whispered quietly. “We’re in good hands, and one set of those hands is yours. With you in charge, I’m not afraid.”

“You’re damn right you’re going to be fine, Donna.” he said adamantly. “Because if I have to ship you off to Wisconsin to your parents and strap you down to a bed with medical restraints, I’m going to do it.”

“Josh.” she groaned rolling her eyes.

“Don’t be thinking that once we get back to Washington this is going to be any different.” He said waving his finger between her and the bed.

“You’ll stay with me?” She looked up at him with the puppy dog eyes.

“Yes.” he said immediately.

“Now, you’re just saying whatever sticks to get me to feel better.”

“Not at all. I can take family leave.”

“During election season.”

“It’s two weeks, Donna.” he replied. “It’s not like we don’t own a phone, or a laptop, or a fax machine.”

She nodded and looked down between them. He frowned, hooked a finger under her chin and brought her attention back up to him. “What’s the matter?” he asked. He eyes welled up with tears and he grew concerned. “What? What is it?”

“What if everything’s NOT okay?” she cried.

“You just said you weren’t worried.”

“But what if I pushed too hard and there’s a problem?” she continued. He suppressed the urge to roll his eyes at her raging hormones and mood change. “What if bedrest doesn’t work?”

“That’s what medical intervention is for.”

“But what if --”

“Donna, I am the What If King and I can out What If you any day of the week.” Josh cut off. “You need to stay calm. Your doctor said you’re allowed to take Benedryl. Do you want me to find you some? It’ll help you sleep.”

“No.” she pouted. “I just want my cats.”

“Well, they’re in Washington and you’re in California. I’m going to have to do.”

“You don’t purr when I scratch behind your ears.”

“No. I do OTHER things when you scratch behind my ears.” he leered. He ran his hand along her stomach and gently sucked her earlobe into his mouth. She hissed in response. “Now, who’s catlike?”

“Well, I suppose this is a good argument for spending two weeks in bed.” she smiled, kissing his neck, but his eyes popped open and he sat straight up at her words.

“Oh no, Donna. We’re not doing that for two weeks.”

“What!? Why not?”

“Blood pressure. Up. Bad thing.”

“It doesn’t go up that much during sex.”

“Donna, sex with us is like...well, it’s very crazy and not always gentle and it gets MY blood pressure up, you banned me when I was recovering.” he ticked off quickly.

“You had HEART SURGERY!” she yelped. “Of course it would be bad for you! My doctor said --”

“Not in this case they didn’t. You have not been cleaned for this type of activity.”

“Joshua, you’re being ridiculous!”

“Donna, I can’t do it.” he said quickly. “You’re everything to me, and so is this baby and it’s not even here yet. If something happened to you or it because of something I did...”

“Her.” Donna smiled.

“What? Her who?”

“The baby.”

“Her?”

“It’s a girl.”

His eyes widened at her. “You know that for a fact?”

“Mother’s intuition.” she shrugged.

He looked at her for a moment and smiled slowly, laying back down. “You think it’s a little girl?” And she nodded.

“I hope she has your eyes.” he said softly.

“I hope she has your passion.” Donna replied smiling.

“You’re more passionate than I am.”

“I don’t think so.” she shook her head. “You look at the world differently.”

“You’re much more optimistic when looking at the world than I am.”

“You rationalize better.”

“THAT is absolutely true.” he laughed. She smacked him on the arm, but laughed with him. He pulled her into his arms and she snuggled against his chest.

“She’s going to be a cat lover.” Donna smiled against him.

Josh rolled his eyes and muttered, “Probably.”

TBC


	20. Secret - Alternate Ending, The

“Hey, Josh.”

“Hey, Katie.”

“How’s Donna feeling?”

“Pissed off.”

“I don’t blame her; bedrest sucks.”

“Oh, yes it does.”

Josh was sitting on the floor of a hallway in the convention center, leaning up against the wall and whacking Toby’s rubber red ball against the opposite wall. Katie slid down the wall to join him.

“Can I ask you a question?” she asked.

“Is it for your story?” he replied.

“Depends on how good your answer is.” she smiled.

“Cute.” he said. “What the hell, fire away.”

“Why the secret anyway?”

“What secret?”

“The marriage.” Katie prodded. Then realized he may have been confused between his secret marriage and the President’s secret illness.

Without taking his eyes off what he was doing, Josh answered, “It seemed like the best way to go about it at the time.”

“You’re not worried about the visual now? What else is the Bartlet administration hiding?”

Josh caught the ball, thought for a moment, then turned to Katie and lowered his voice. “You’re right, Katie. I’m on a roll. I’m gonna spill my guts. Grab your pen.”

Her eyes went wide and she pulled out her pen and notebook. “The end of the world is upon us. There are aliens from another galaxy coming. Their plan is to take out every major city on the globe and wipe out the human race.”

Katie smacked him with her notebook. “I hope the fate of the world isn’t left in your dumb hands; you’re no Will Smith.”

Josh chuckled and resumed his game.

“You shouldn’t mess with reporters like that.” Katie chided.

“Why not?”

“Secret. Plan. To. Fight. Inflation.” she retaliated.

“Good point.” Josh agreed.

“Seriously.” she said. “What were you afraid of?”

“Ooohh, Katie. I’m afraid of many, many things.” he said. “But at that specific time, I was afraid she wouldn’t be allowed to work with me. You see, I’m ridiculously in love with my wife. Up until the day she told me she was pregnant, I thought this was the biggest thing I was going to do with my life and I wanted to share it with her.”

“Wow.” Katie said.

“Put that in your paper and quote it.”

“Pithy. I’m going to. Who knew you were this sweet?”

“Donna did.”

“That’s good, too.” she said. “Your reputation as a pit bull will be tarnished.”

“Donna’s worth it.” Josh chuckled. “I don’t know where that reputation came from anyway.”

“Oh, let me think. How about ‘take your legislative agenda and shove it up your ass?’”

“Hey! He threatened to take out my lungs with an ice cream scoop. I’m very attached to my lungs.”

“Anyway, you’ve had a few of them.”

“I suppose.”

She sat with him for a few minutes as they chatted about the convention, occasionally she’d catch the ball if it drifted too close to her side, until they heard the clacking of CJ’s heels.

“Katie Witt, you clever little thing.” CJ greeted. “How did you end up back here?”

“My devious mind outdid itself, CJ.” Katie replied. “I had to go to the ladies room and there Josh was, right in my path.”

“Oh hey, Katie, I’ll give you the inside track.” Josh said. “Donna thinks the baby is a girl. You can go start a pool.”

“We’ve already got a pool, and I’ve got girl.” Katie smiled. “Think you have a say in the due date?”

“Yeah, I wish.” Josh muttered.

“Well, see you later.” Katie said, leaving the two senior staffers alone.

“What’s the matter, mi amore?” CJ asked as Josh resumed his game.

“Nothing.”

“You’re brooding. You’ve got Toby’s ball.”

“Just worried.”

“You’ll feel better when she’s back in Washington.”

“I think I’ll feel better when the baby’s born healthy, Ceej.”

“So, why does Donna think the baby is a girl?” CJ asking taking Katie’s place on the floor next to Josh.

“I don’t know.” he shrugged. “She just does.”

“Joshua Lyman with a little girl. All the boys beware.” CJ smiled.

“Yeah.”

“You seem unenthused. Did you not want a girl?”

“I want a healthy baby, boy or girl.” Josh countered. “It’s just ever since Donna told me that, I’ve been more freaked out. This baby is developing an identity with me now. She’s not an ‘it’ anymore, she’s a ‘she,’ you know? The stakes were always high, but they just feel higher now. I can picture her in my head now, and so Donna becoming a high risk patient scares me even more because I’m becoming more attached to this baby.”

“I think you’ve always been that attached, Josh.” CJ smiled. “And you’re going to be a great father. This little girl is going to be so incredibly loved, and spoiled, and probably smart as hell. AND, Josh, she’s going to be healthy. I know you’re worried. You’re a human being, you’re supposed to be worried. But, you’ve also got your paranoia working for you. You’ll make sure the doctor’s orders are followed to the letter at all costs.”

“Yeah, Donna’s not too happy about that.”

“I’m sure she’s counting on it.”

TBC


	21. Secret - Alternate Ending, The

“Josh?”

“Yeah, baby.”

“I have a problem.”

Josh looked up to where Donna was standing near the couch in their living room. “Well, I get to go back to school tomorrow...”

“And you didn’t read a damn thing for two weeks?”

“I did!” Donna replied indignantly. “In fact, I read ahead.”

“Of course you did.” Josh mumbled under his breath.

“What was that?” she demanded.

“What was what?”

“Were you calling me a nerd again?”

“Baby, I would never call you a nerd.”

“You always call me a nerd.”

“Well, that’s because you ARE a nerd, but you’re my nerd and it’s totally adorable.”

“I think you’re just feeling threatened because I’m smarter than you.” Donna said crossing her arms over her chest and making her belly look much bigger.

“I have never operated under any delusion that I’m smarter than you.” Josh replied. “In fact, I think you might be smarter than the President.”

“The President has a Nobel.”

“Okay. Nobody’s smarter than the President.”

“Anyway...” Donna said trying to get the conversation back on track.

“You have a problem.” Josh said, pushing the binder aside he was reading and sitting up. He figured she didn’t have an emergency or they wouldn’t have gotten sidetracked in the first place.

“Well, it’s August.”

“Unfortunately.”

“What’s that mean?”

“It’s August in the South; it’s miserable outside. Let’s get to the problem here.” Josh said waving his hand in an effort to move her along. Donna didn’t move quickly doing ANYTHING anymore.

“Oh, well, the only shoes that are comfortable on my feet are my sandals.”

“So we need to go shoe shopping today?”

“No, I’ll just wear my sandals.” she said.

“Okay. I’m missing the problem.”

“My toes don’t have any color on them.” Donna sighed.

“What?”

“My toenails.” Donna said looking down at her feet. “They don’t have any nail polish on them, and so my feet look...boring.”

“They look like your feet.” Josh replied likewise looking at her toes.

“Josh! They need nail polish! I can’t wear sandals with my toes looking like this!”

“Why the hell not?”

“Josh”

“Okay, whatever.” Josh said conceding the battle. “They need color, fine. So, what is your dilemma? You don’t have nail polish?”

“No, I have nail polish.” Donna mumbled. Then her speech got completely inaudible and Josh couldn’t make out what she was saying at all.

“I didn’t hear what you said.”

Donna mumbled again.

“Come again?” Josh asked.

More mumbling.

“Donna...”

“I CAN’T REACH MY TOES!”

Josh stifled a laugh and Donna glared. Another chuckle snuck out before he gave in and started to laugh.

“It’s not funny!” Donna huffed.

“You’re right.” Josh said trying, and failing, to contain himself. “It’s not funny. So go get a foot thing.”

“A foot thing? You mean a pedicure?”

“Yeah.”

“I don’t need a pedicure. I just need my toenails painted.” She replied. That was his Donna, always practical.

“And you can’t reach your toes.”

“Right.”

“So what are you suggesting?”

She arched her brow at him and waited for him to make the connection.

“Me!?”

“Aw, would you?” she smiled. “You’re so sweet to me!”

“Whoa!”

“I’ll go get the stuff.” she instantly turned and fled the living room.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.”

Donna returned with an armload of stuff and dumped it on the coffee table then settled herself on the opposite end of the couch.

“You have equipment for this?” Josh asked.

“I’ll tell you what to do with it all.” she nodded encouragingly.

“What the hell makes you think I’m going to be any good whatsoever at this?”

“You should feel free to massage them while you work.” she sighed happily getting more comfortable.

“I should, huh?” he smirked. Donna nodded happily as Josh sighed and picked up a foot. “You know you’re going to have red all over your toes, right?”

“Yeah, but that’s what the Qtips and nail polish remover are for.” Donna said. “You put the cotton balls between my toes, so it spreads them out and there’s less of a chance being messy.”

“I’m a senior advisor to the President of the United States.”

“And my humble husband.”

“Yeah.” Josh grumbled went to work. “I can’t BELIEVE I’m doing this.”

“It’s pretty sexy, you know.” Donna smiled.

“I don’t see how.”

“Well, you think it’s sexy when I shave your face.”

“Because that IS sexy.”

“This is the same thing.”

“Not remotely.”

“It is to me.” she shrugged.

“Because you’re strange. You’re a strange nerd.”

“You’re very feisty today.”

“This is awfully....red.”

“I’m in a red mood.”

“This I see.”

“So,” Donna began as Josh started to slowly brush the nail polish on. She smiled at how careful he was being. “Katie’s article was nice. That was nice what you said.” Bambi jumped up and curled up on Donna’s belly; Donna greeted her by scratching her ears.

“I’ll be crucified on the Hill.” Josh replied. “I wish you wouldn’t let her do that.”

“You’ve been outed as a closet romantic and she’s fine.”

“I don’t think there’s been anything closet about it, and if you can’t clean the litter box because of the chemicals, then I don’t think you should let the cats which step in said chemicals come in contact with your skin.”

“You are incredibly paranoid.” Donna chuckled.

“Hey!”

“You called me a strange nerd.”

“Fair point. But in my defense, you have me painting your toenails.”

“We’ll call it a tie.” Donna replied. “Do you think between Danny’s article and Katie’s that things have settled down?”

“Pretty much.” Josh nodded. “But Mike Casper’s going to take you to class tomorrow anyway.”

“What!? Why?”

“Because I can’t, and I have a friend that works for the FBI and he’s a bad ass, and I’ve got no problems abusing my power.” Josh said as if it was the most logical reason in the world.

“Congress will freak if they find out, and they will because they smell when you’re doing something wrong.”

“Yeah, well, they missed the whole bit about me marrying my assistant in secret, so I’m pretty comfortable with my chances. Plus, it’s not the government’s dime. Mike’s done then and he likes you. He thinks you’re sweet. I don’t know where he got that idea from, but...”

“I could kick you right now, you know.” Donna threatened.

“I’m not going to give you a guard forever, Donna, I just want to make sure you’re not going to get bugged, and if you DO get bugged that that person pays dearly for it.”

“You’re sexy when you’re puffed up and painting my toenails.” she smiled.

“Yeah, I’m a real bad ass right now.”

“You’re a lover and a fighter at the same time, you know that?”

“Yes. It’s very exhausting.”

“I say we drop the fighter, keep the lover, and work on getting you exhausted that way.”

Josh paused a moment before smirking and continuing with his project. “You’re going to kill me with all this sex, you know. You’ve made me your boy toy.”

“You seem to be adjusting just fine.”

“I know. I hope it doesn’t go away when the baby is born.”

“You’re a pig.”

“Hey! I’m the victim here! You’re the insatiable one.”

“You don’t look like you’re suffering.”

“Well...I’m not.”

“You know, a little girl is going to make you do this, too. You’re going to have to put her hair in pig tails...”

“What the hell are those?”

“I’ll teach you.”

“Are those those things that come out on the sides and look like handles?”

“Yes!” Donna laughed.

“My sister used to have those.”

“Speaking of sisters....” Donna hedged. “We should start thinking of names.”

Josh paused again and looked over at her. “Really?”

“You don’t want to?”

“If it fits, I guess.” he shrugged and went back to her toes.

“Josh...” Donna said.

“Yeah, I really kinda do.” he confessed finally.

“Did you think I wouldn’t understand?”

“I don’t know. It just seems like you’re doing all the work, you should have more say.”

“Believe me when I tell you that I wouldn’t mind pawning this off on you.”she laughed.

“I’m sure you wouldn’t.” he chuckled in agreement. “Besides, you just blew me off about the cats.”

“Well, that’s because you’re crazy.”

“You and I don’t seem to be getting along today.”

“I don’t know. You’re painting my toenails. That’s friendly.”

“According to you, there’s even friendlier activities on the agenda after this.”

“There are. You should hurry it up.”

“Moving along now.”

TBC


	22. Secret - Alternate Ending, The

Josh’s eyes flew open when he felt Donna grab onto his chest and squeeze.

Hard.

“Shit!” he yelped. “What’s the matter?”

He perched over her, as close as he could get to her, considering her large stomach as she turned on her side, pain clearly evident across her face.

“Donna!”

“I think it’s a contraction.” she said when she was finally able to regain the power of speech.

“You think it’s a contraction?” Josh asked.

“Well, I’ve never had a baby before Josh!” she shouted back.

“Okay, calm down.” he said dropping the level of his voice. “I was just asking if you were sure it was a contraction and not something wrong.”

“Yes, there’s something wrong, Joshua.” Donna growled through her teeth. “I was sleeping, relatively comfortable for the first time in months, when suddenly YOUR child woke me up again and -- AAGGGHH!”

Josh grabbed her hand against the pain and smoothed her hair away from her face. “It’s okay.” he said softly. “I’m right here. We’re going to take you the hospital right now. These are really close together.”

“This child is late.” Donna said sitting up and blowing out a long breath. “It figures she’s your late child.”

She stood up, but as soon as she was upright, another contraction hit. Josh dove over the bed to support her as she doubled over and screamed.

“Maybe I should call an ambulance. These are really close together.” he suggested.

Donna blew out a few breaths again and then straightened. This time, she moved to get dressed a little faster, so she could get more accomplished in her limited time between contractions.

“I’m not considered a medical emergency.” she said as she pulled one of his sweatshirts over her head.

“I beg to differ.” he replied as he shot a glance over to the phone and pulled his shoes on.

“Women have been having babies for centuries, Josh, and husbands drive their wives to the hospital every day all over the country.”

“Those guys don’t have the kind of access I do.” he replied.

“Such as?” she challenged.

“The First Lady and Surgeon General on speed dial.”

“Joshua, you are not calling them.”

“Oh, they made me promise --”

“Aagghh!” she shouted out again.

“Breathe, Donnatella.” he said against her ear.

“You know it’s not as easy as they make it sound.” Donna snapped.

“No. I wouldn’t imagine that it is.”

“It’s very painful.” she said straightening up. He grabbed the suitcase she had packed for the hospital and her hand. They made it all the way down to the sidewalk before her next contraction hit.

Earlier in the week, Josh had gotten a parking spot directly in front of their building. Despite Donna’s continued snarking of him, he refused to drive the car the rest of week, not wanting to give up his primo spot in the event of this very situation.

As soon as they got to the car door though, another contraction hit her, but though they were getting significantly more painful, she was handling them a little better. She didn’t scream, merely hissed in pain. Josh provided all the comfort and counter pressure he could, but he was not looking forward to the coming hours. It was only going to get worse and he felt helpless in providing any form of adequate assistance.

What Josh didn’t realize at the moment, was that this was all Donna needed him to do. He just needed to be by her side because everything felt better with him there, everything felt safer. She had been terrified that she would be alone when the contractions started and he wouldn’t be there to hold her hand or massage her back or take the verbal beating that was surely coming.

She had nightmares that he would be on a trip and she would be alone. Or worse, the contractions would come too fast and she couldn’t call 9-1-1, all manner of horrible scenarios had been running through her head over the past months, that she was just glad none of them were coming to fruition.

Josh broke several traffic laws on their way to the hospital. In another situation, she might have admonished him, but given the fact that she had four contractions in a little under 20 minutes and had no drugs to offset the pain, she didn’t care so much.

They had of course been pre-registered so they were ushered right up to labor and delivery where Donna’s obstetrician was waiting for them.

“Donna, while you’re getting changed and the doctor’s doing her exam, I’m going to step out in the hall and make some phone calls.” Josh said gently when they were up in a room.

“You said you wouldn’t leave me!”

“And I won’t. Baby, I’ll be right outside the door. I have to call our mothers or there will be blood shed and it’ll be mine.” he said kissing her forehead. “I swear to God, I’ll be right outside the door.”

“Do you promise?” she said through her tears.

“Yes, Donnatella, I promise.” he smiled.

She nodded and Josh ducked out in the hall. He stretched out his sore fingers where she had been squeezing them. Due to the extremely early hour of the morning, he got both their parents’ answering machines. He left a message for them, telling them they were at the hospital and that he’d try to call, but he wasn’t sure when he’d be able to. He likewise called Leo to tell him he’d be out today. Leo could make the logical jump that Josh would be out longer than just that day.

“And how are you?” Leo asked him when Josh got finished filling him in.

“I’m all right I guess.”

“You’re all right? You’re about to be a dad.” Josh could hear the smile in his mentor’s voice and smiled himself.

“Yeah, that part terrifies me.”

“You’re not scared for Donna?”

“I am. But she’s in good hands.” Josh replied. “And once you tell the President and the First Lady gets here, I’m sure we’ll all feel better.”

“The First Lady’s not an obstetrician.” Leo reminded.

“That’s not the point.” Josh countered.

“True.” Leo conceded. “Keep me updated and good luck.”

“Thanks, Leo.”

Josh hung up and returned to Donna’s room where the doctor was just finishing her exam.

“They’re bringing me the epidural.” Donna informed him immediately.

“Good. I’m all for it.”

“I wanted to try to get through without it.” Donna said. “I figured women have been doing this for thousands of years and they didn’t all have the benefit of drugs, so I shouldn’t be such a baby.”

“Yeah, but you DO have the benefit of drugs, so why be a hero for your kind?” Josh countered and the doctor smiled. “Trust me, Donna. I think you’re tough. You’ve got absolutely nothing to prove to me.”

“Okay.” she smiled. “I’m ready to do this.”

Good, he thought. At least one them was.

TBC


	23. Secret - Alternate Ending, The

“Well, looks who’s decided to spruce up our Wednesday morning!” Abbey greeted entering Donna’s hospital room.

“Dr. Bartlet!” Josh and Donna chorused. They were both so relieved to see her.

Dr. Barlet picked up Donna’s chart and gave it a read, then turned to look at the machines she was hooked up to. She studied the baby monitor a little longer than the other machines.

“What’s wrong?” Josh asked quickly reading Abbey’s expression as Donna’s doctor entered the room.

Abbey’s eyes widened and she looked from the doctor to Josh and Donna. “How the hell would I know? I’m a thoracic surgeon, not an obstetrician.”

“What’s the matter, you guys didn’t trust me?” the obstetrician laughed.

“Oh no, Jane, it’s nothing like that.” Abbey smiled. “These are my kids. I’m just checking up on them.”

“Yeah, but Mrs. B, you were looking at the baby monitor longer. What’s it saying?” Josh asked.

“Joshua, you should have been a crime solver. You’re entirely too perceptive for your own good.” Abbey sighed.

“Wait. So something’s wrong?” Donna asked nervously.

“Well, not wrong in the sense of real bad.” Dr. Jane said. “I saw the readings outside and came in. The epidural slowed everything down, Donna, and the baby’s heart rate has dropped significantly. It’s not in a life threatening range and there’s no need to freak out, but all the same, I’d like to do a C-section and get her out of there anyway.”

Josh and Donna’s eyes widened and they looked to Abbey. “She’s right.” Abbey nodded. “You don’t need to freak yet.”

“Surgery?” Josh croaked. “You want to do surgery?”

“It’s a perfectly routine procedure, Mr. Lyman.” Dr. Jane replied.

Donna let out a long breath and nodded her consent. It wasn’t the way she planned on it all going, but all that mattered was at the end, she’d have her healthy daughter, even if she was nervous. Josh, on the other hand, was having a little bit harder of a time coming around.

“Mrs. B?” he asked Abbey. Abbey knew her role here. The second Leo told her what Josh had said on the phone, she knew that Josh was hoping she’d come down to make sure the medical staff was giving it to him straight. He didn’t like sugar coating, he didn’t like beating around the bush. From the moment Josh woke up from surgery, Abbey always gave it to him straight.

“It’s a perfectly routine, perfectly safe procedure which you can be in the room for. Donna will be conscious the whole time, but she’ll have a local anaesthetic and won’t feel any of it.” Abbey explained. “Natural childbirth at this point could go on for many hours and Josh, it’s really important the baby come out before we hit 24 hours after the water breaks. The longer the baby’s in there, the longer she’s out of her sterile environment. This whole thing will be done in an hour or so and everyone will be on the road to recovery.”

“But everything’s okay, right?” Josh asked nervously. “I mean, there’s nothing you’re not telling me?”

“That would be illegal, Josh.” Abbey said dryly. “There’s nothing you’re not being told. And once Donna’s in the OR, Jane can get the baby out in three minutes if she has to.”

“Well, that’s fast.” Josh conceded.

“It’s not the most ideal way,” Dr. Jane added. “But if it came down to the baby being in distress like that, yes, it’s true.”

“We’ll be okay, Josh.” Donna assured softly from his side.

“I know, I’m just...” Josh began.

“It’s natural to be nervous.” Dr. Jane smiled. “But I do think this is the best course of action right now. I’m just not comfortable waiting it out.”

“Okay.” Josh nodded, blowing out a long breath. Dr. Jane smiled and left to go prep as Josh and Donna turned to Dr. Bartlet. 

“I’ll hang out until it’s over.” Abbey assured.

“I don’t suppose you’d...” Josh began.

“Scrub in?” Abbey finished.

“Would you?” Josh asked quickly.

“Donna, would you feel more comfortable with me in there?” Abbey asked.

“Well, I have full confidence in Jane, but...” Donna began.

“If you want me to go in, I can go in.” Abbey smiled when Josh and Donna both quickly nodded their heads.

“All right then.” Abbey smiled, then she too left the room and the anaesthesiologist entered.

“I don’t understand what gives.” Josh said. “A few hours ago, I thought this baby was going to pop out in the car.”

“Well, sometimes the epidural slows things down.” The anaesthesiologist said as he began to unhook Donna’s epidural from it’s pole in preparation to move her to surgery.

“Wait a minute!” Josh said to the doctor.

“What’s the matter?” the doctor asked.

“That thing is still like three-quarters of the way full.”

“So?”

“Well, I paid for all of it, right?”

“I guess.”

“So then can I have the rest?”

“Josh!” Donna groaned.

“I’m just saying. That’d probably be a good thing for me to have in there, Donna. I don’t think I’m going to be that big of a help. And I’m sure that epidural didn’t come cheap.”

The doctor rolled his eyes and continued with his pre-op prep of Donna’s IVs.

“You’ll be in there with me.” Donna whispered to Josh. “And as long as you stay conscious, you’ll be a huge help to me.”

“I’m just saying.”

“Men don’t typically know pain like this.” the doctor chuckled. “I mean, a kidney stone can be debilitating, but a kidney stone doesn’t send your hormones spiraling like child birth does.”

“He was shot.” Donna said nodding her head over to Josh and the doctor slid his gaze over to Josh.

“Yes, I know.” the doctor smiled back at Donna. “I was his anaesthesiologist.”

“You were?” Josh and Donna chorused.

“I was.” the doctor nodded.

“I guess I made an impression.” Josh smirked.

“You came in with the President of the United States.” the doctor countered.

“Well, I made it, Donna, so you’ll probably be all right.” Josh said flippantly.

“See, Mrs. Lyman, you’ve been awake and in labor for almost 14 hours now. Your husband passed out from the blood loss and then was under anaesthesia for 13 hours. While the pain he felt would be agonizing, he was delirious and then unconscious. He wasn’t awake the entire time. It’s apples and oranges, you can’t compare the two. You’re all set on my end. I’ll see you in there, Donna.”

A nurse entered carrying a stack of scrubs and an orderly approached the bed. “Mr. Lyman, you need to get changed if you’re going in with your wife.”

“Okay.” he replied, but turned to Donna as she clutched his hand. “I’ll meet you in there, okay?”

“I changed my mind, I’m really scared.”

“I know you are. But, I’m going to be right next to you.”

“Don’t let them keep you out, okay?” she said. It took all his willpower to control himself in the face of her trembling lips and shaky voice. “Fight your way in, if you have to.”

“Okay.” he smiled encouragingly. He kissed her lightly, then the orderly raised the bed rail and Josh turned to the nurse for his new wardrobe.

By the time the time the hospital staff let him into the OR, Donna’s procedure was well underway with Abbey talking to her encouragingly next to the anesthesiologist.

“What the hell took you so long?” Donna demanded when he sat down by her side.

“They just told me I could come in now.” he replied. He tried to keep his eyes on hers. There was a curtain draped across her chest so neither Donna nor Josh could see the procedure. Also, Josh was not able to hold her hand, since they were strapped down to the table and hidden under surgical blankets anyway. “I feel really weird.” He confessed. “I don’t know what to do in here.”

“Just talk to me.” she said. He frowned when he saw how violently she was shivering.

“Are you all right?” he asked then turned to the anaesthesiologist standing next to Donna. “Is she all right?”

“It’s normal.” Abbey nodded.

Barely 20 more minutes had gone by before Dr. Jane announced, “Hey, dad, get your camera ready.”

“She means you, Josh.” Abbey laughed when she saw his perplexed expression.

“Oh!” Josh said, pulling out the camera and Dr. Jane held up a crying, gooey little girl. Josh fumbled with the camera, and Abbey finally snatched it from him to take the picture.

“For crying out loud, Josh.” she chuckled rolling her eyes. “I can’t believe Jed lets you loose on the Hill.”

“She’s loud.” Josh noted in awe.

“She’s yours.” Donna said through heavy eyes.

“Are you all right?” he smiled looking back to her.

“I’m really tired now.” she smiled. “I want to see her though.”

“They’ll bring her over in just a sec.” Abbey promised. “They’re cleaning her up and running some routine tests. You’ll have to go with her to the nursery though, Josh.”

“Why?”

“You’re her father, the doctors have to finish up with Donna, you’ll be in the way here, and the baby needs to be checked into the hospital.” Abbey explained.

“She’s not already checked in with me?” Donna frowned.

“Oddly enough, no.” Abbey replied. “Now that she’s here with us, she’s her own separate patient.” Abbey sighed again as she watched Josh helplessly look from where the nurses were taking care of his daughter, and down to his wife. “I’ll stay with Donna, Josh.” Abbey smiled. “It’s time for your third act of childhood. Donna’s going to fall asleep and be in recovery for a couple of hours.”

“S’okay, Josh.” Donna said lightly. “She needs you and I’m in good hands.”

“Hey,” Josh called over to the pediatric nurses. They looked over a little surprised. “She’s falling asleep over here, can you bring the baby over real quick?”

“Thanks, Josh.” Donna whispered lightly.

One of the nurses swaddled the baby quickly and brought her over to her parents. “She’s doing great.” the nurse smiled, handing her over to a very surprised Josh.

“Oh, she’s beautiful.” Abbey cooed.

“She’s looks like her mom.” Josh smiled as the baby let out another yell.

“But sounds like her dad.” Donna chuckled.

“Figures.” Josh laughed.

“Mr. and Mrs. Lyman, we need to bring her over to the nursery now.” the nurse said.

“Can I carry her over?” Josh asked.

“I’m sorry, sir, no.” the nurse apologized. “She has to go in her cart, but you can push that if you’d like.”

Josh furrowed his forehead and looked up to Abbey. “It’s just safety procedure, Josh.” Abbey smiled. “You can hold her again in the nursery.”

“Okay.” Josh said reluctantly handing the baby back over to the nurse. Then he turned to his wife. “I’ll see you in recovery okay?”

“You did great.” Donna smiled through heavy lids.

“You too, I love you.”

“Love you too.”

And then she was out like a light.

TBC


	24. Secret - Alternate Ending, The

Josh looked down at the little baby in his arms in awe. How is it that you could instantly love someone? It was amazing.

Of course, he had no idea what to do with this little baby, but he and Donna had the groundwork for a plan.

Or Donna had the groundwork for a plan.

He thought back to the odd beginning of his and Donna’s marriage and remembered how he wanted to wait for kids. Why on Earth did he want to wait for this moment? Why did he want to wait to meet this beautiful little girl?

“What’s her name, Mr. Lyman?” the nurse asked.

“Noel.” Josh whispered. “Noel Joan.”

“That’s pretty. Is it a family name?”

“Noel was Donna’s grandmother and Joan was my sister.”

“Well, I’m sure she’ll love up to the honor.”

“She looks smart, doesn’t she?”

“Yes.” the nurse laughed. “She looks perfect.”

“Yeah.” he agreed softly, then looked back up at the nurse. “You’ve got a great job, you know that?”

“You work with the President of the United States and meet kings and queens.” the nurse countered.

“They’re not as impressive as these little ones, believe me.” he shrugged.

“It’s not always happy; sometimes it’s heartbreaking.”

“Touche.” he agreed. “Am I okay holding her still? Does she need that lamp again?”

“She’s all right.” the nurse nodded. “You’re giving her heat.”

“It’s all the hot air my wife says I’m full of.” he chuckled.

“Well, whatever.” the nurse replied. “This little baby’s had a rough day. She needs her dad.”

“What was so rough about her day?”

“Child birth is the most traumatic experience a person goes through in their entire life.”

“I guess that puts getting shot into perspective.”

“It might if you remembered being born.” the nurse laughed. “Anyway, you’re doing fine. You can hold her as long as you want.”

The nurse left the room and he continued to rock with her. Donna was still in recovery, but Josh and Noel were waiting in her room for her.

He found it odd that their daughter didn’t really look like either one of them. Sure, he saw features of them, but everyone always said that you could tell right off who the baby resembeled. The other thing that he was discovery was a falsity was that he suddenly didn’t know anything more now than he did yesterday. He knew yesterday he’d walk through fire for this baby. That wasn’t anything new. Did he suddenly have a plan? No.

The orderlies wheeled Donna back in and smiled before leaving the room. She was still out cold and Josh decided not to try to wake her up. Noel wasn’t the only one who had a rough day.

Josh always knew his wife was a tough woman, but he’d never seen anything like her before. She was amazing. She was strong through her fear and Josh admired that. He admired Donna for many things and she never stopped teaching him.

THE END


End file.
